Stratovania

I haven't written on this particular blog in a few weeks. For that matter, I've only written sporadically on my WordPress. There have been several events in that time I feel are worth mentioning. My dad and his girlfriend were up in the city a few weeks ago, and we went with them to Burger Bistro and to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. My dad was interested in seeing our place, but it's still not really in an appropriate condition for guests. When the scope of something is overwhelming, it's difficult for me to even start. I mentioned before that, for Easter, Beth and I had dinner at her mom's house. I've finished drafts of a few new Oz stories. I feel I always have to specify "drafts," even though I sometimes don't do anything else with them, because I don't want to discount the editing process. If anyone wants to read them, let me know. One of them is a Super Mario Bros. crossover, an idea I had way back when there were only three main series Mario games. I like the idea of crossovers, but it can be really difficult to get two different fictional worlds to interact in a way that makes sense. More often, I tend to just sneak in brief references to other works I like, without really explaining them. I have ideas for a few more tales, but I don't know how long those will take me. And I made macaroni and cheese, which turned out to not have as much flavor as I'd hoped. I used cheddar and mozzarella cheeses. I guess I'm a bit of a cheese snob, in that I grew up on sharp cheddar, and stuff like American cheese and Velveeta just seem dull to me.

Yesterday, our friends Tavie and Sean got married, and had their reception at a place called Le Petit Café in Carroll Gardens. It's a nice place, but we were all packed in pretty tightly. There was no room to dance or kids to run around, which are things that often happen at wedding receptions. Beth wore a new dress, but while I did get a few pictures, none of them came out that well. You can see one of them on Facebook if you're interested. It's weird, because I always wonder why people don't want pictures of themselves on social media without screening them first. Then, when that happens to me, I'm like, "Okay, I get it now." For me, it's mostly because my hair doesn't behave. Speaking of marriage, Beth and I just recently saw a stand-up set by another guy we've known for a while, Matt, who is now a Daily Show writer, and he's also married now. We don't see him that much, but we have friends in common, so you'd think we would have known about that before. In my experience, marriage doesn't change much in the dynamic between couples. I mean, it's really just a bureaucratic thing, when you get down to it. But I think it totally affects how other people view you, "wife" or "husband" just sounding so much more serious than "girlfriend" or "boyfriend."

At one point, Tavie was talking about how her cat Neelix likes Sean better, and I mentioned how our Wally prefers Beth and Reagan prefers me. I've heard it was similar with my grandparents and their male and female cats. It's strange, but I don't think there's really anything to it on a grand scale. And when I lived with Beth's cousins Patti and Dorothea, they had a cat named Cracker whom they said preferred men. I know I got along well with him. I walked by a cat café earlier on Friday, and I've never been to one of those. I'm kind of afraid I'd want to adopt another cat, when we already have two who are on pricey medication.

So, today is Valentine's Day, as well as Ash Wednesday for the Catholics. I guess the former is technically a Catholic holiday too, as it's ST. Valentine's, but it's gained a more secular following. And like many holidays, it has its roots in a Roman festival. A lot of people hate it, too. It was never that big of a deal to me; I've been in a relationship for a long time, but can't recall really thinking about it that much when I was single. But I guess I get it in the sense that people want to participate in things, and it's sort of a holiday where adults don't get to unless they're involved with someone. I was thinking of the feeling of being left out for a different reason recently, because I attended the first two shows of Kim Boekbinder's residency on the Lower East Side. They were fun, but I went to them alone, and that can be a bit uncomfortable when it seems like everyone else there knows other people (and, at a small show like these, sometimes even the performers). I've pretty much always felt the loneliest when I was around other people interacting and apparently having fun; actually being alone doesn't bother me as much, nor does being around other people when we're all watching something, like, well, a show. But the intermissions can be difficult.

Anyway, Kim is doing a show at a bar called Berlin every Monday this month, which means two of them are now over. I don't know if I'm going to the other two or not; I'd like to, but it's kind of annoying since they're on work nights. The first one featured Veronica Varlow, a burlesque dancer who's also worked with Emilie Autumn.

In fact, I'm almost finished reading Emilie's book, and there's a character based on her in it. The second show had an opener, VNESSWOLFCHILD, who did a positive, earthy sort of music. It was perhaps a little TOO positive for my taste, but they put on a good show, complete with props and the lead singer standing on her head.

Kim had string players this time, two violinists and a cellist.

She did a lot of the same songs both times, but they did sound different with the strings. It seems like she's focusing on her last two albums, which were mostly electronic. I'd have liked to hear some older songs, but maybe they wouldn't have worked with the setup, or she just didn't want to play them. She's said she's dressing in one predominant color each month, and this month it's orange.

Today, Beth and I went out for an early dinner at Burger Bistro, not exactly a fancy restaurant, but fancier than having leftovers. She gave me some presents, and while I ordered some for her, they haven't arrived yet. Our tenth anniversary is coming up; we were married on the twenty-ninth, so whether we celebrate on the twenty-eighth or the first depends on what else is going on around then. We'd been thinking of going back to Disney World this year, but I don't know that that's going to work out with our work schedules. Any ideas for what we can do for our Tin Anniversary?

I'm probably going to go to OzCon (where, coincidentally enough, the theme is The Tin Woodman of Oz) without Beth again this year. I'm not sure what I should do about hotel rooms. Should I get a double in case I can find a roommate, and just eat the extra cost if I don't?

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Neither, really. I'm largely indifferent. I did celebrate this year, but not in a spectacularly romantic way. I'm not sure I could do that even if I tried. I did take bethje out to the Olive Garden, which might sound kind of lame, but our area is not exactly known for non-chain restaurants. And we do both like their food, so why not? It was a pretty long wait to get in, but that's probably true of everywhere on Valentine's Day. I just wish I could go somewhere while waiting, but those buzzers don't work at any distance from the restaurant. Come on, there's a bookstore right across the street! Why can't we just wait there? Anyway, we tried the new shrimp scampi appetizer, which was all right, but could have been better. I think I liked it more than Beth did.

I wish I were better at planning things. What do people normally do when they go out, aside from eating?

1. All my life, I've had a desire to be the center of attention. Not just that, though, but also to impress people, whether by entertaining or amusing them or wowing them with my knowledge. I can remember having daydreams about such things as a kid, and even though I now realize it's kind of stupid, I still do sometimes. I have to wonder if this makes me annoying to be around, because I'm not sure I'd want to hang around someone who's always trying to be impressive. The thing is, I'm really not a very impressive person. I'm rather awkward, and have nervous habits that probably bother observers. I've heard recordings of myself, and when I'm improvising what I want to say, I'm all over the place. When I'm reading, I'm more confident, but I'm too fast unless I'm actively trying to slow down. Unlike a lot of people I know, though, I don't really mind public speaking. Sure, I'm nervous, but once I get into the groove it's often kind of fun for me. I'll even sing in public, and I'm well aware I can't sing worth crap. I think that, when I do entertain people, it's more because of my awkwardness than despite it, which is hardly how it works in my daydreams. I guess I'll take it, though.

2. I don't remember that much of my dreams last night, but there was one that I think involved both Mario (you know, the Nintendo guy) and my dad's side of the family. There was also one with the recurring theme of having to live away from bethje for a few days. Sometimes I wonder if these dreams are my subconscious' way of saying that Beth really is a vital part of my life, and I take her for granted sometimes. I don't know. I worry that our relationship has reached the stage where we're basically just friends who live together, and I don't know how to improve things. I'm not a romantic person, you know?

3. Speaking of which, I was asking Beth recently if we should renew our vows, or at least have some kind of second wedding that's better organized than the first one was. Personally, I didn't have any problem with our ceremony. It was low-key, and that's how I wanted it. Beth sometimes says she was a little disappointed by it, though. Now, I know her, and I'm quite sure she's not saying she wants some super-expensive wedding that she plans in Bridezilla fashion. Whether we'll do something someday, I don't know. One issue she brought up was that people might think we were having another ceremony just to get more gifts, so I suppose we'd have to make it known that we don't want any presents, except possibly small ones. A lot of people tend to ignore stuff like that and give gifts anyway, though, so maybe it's better to call the whole thing off.

I recently wrote a post on Tir na n'Og for my WordPress blog, and it struck me that the Internet is a lot like one of those fairylands where time flows differently. I can look at stuff online for what seems like a few minutes, and it turns out to be a few hours. I guess it isn't quite as bad as when I played The Sims, which was made even more confusing by the fact that the game had its own internal clock. Anyway, I've been checking out some new Tumblrs, as well as revisiting ones I already subscribed to, quite a bit in the past few days. I seem to look at a lot of pages with pin-up pictures nowadays, which kind of strikes me as a hobby it would have made more sense to have when I was single. Not that married guys never ogle other women, but shouldn't it be unnecessary at this point? Even though bethje has said she doesn't mind me looking at other girls, and she's pretty vocal about what guys she likes, but I still can't help feeling a little guilty. And I wasn't even raised Catholic! I must admit I'm a little envious of couples like my Tumblr-friends SamuraiFrog and Becca, who appear to share a love for pretty girls. In fairness, the only time I went to a burlesque show and a strip club were both with Beth.

Beth is actually away today, seeing Elton John in New York and having an actual social life with our friends therealtavie and Stephanie. I'm kind of jealous, but I didn't really have the desire to go running off to New York on my two-week break between classes. Besides, I like Elton John, but I'm not the fan Beth is. Seeing him live three times was enough for me. Honestly, I'm kind of gotten over concerts in general, which isn't to say I won't go to any more, but I'll almost certainly attend less. I still have fun while I'm there, but all the waiting and the crowds just get more and more overwhelming as I get older, and it's not like they were any picnic when I was younger either. While years of crippling social awkwardness have made me someone who's fine entertaining myself, I do sometimes wish I had more of a social life. But I don't know how to meet people, and everyone I meet online who seems cool lives far away. Honestly, I'm not really even sure how to socialize online. I used to use Instant Messenger a fair amount when I was in college (that's how Beth and I first became friends), but I don't seem to have the energy for it now. Don't let that discourage you from contacting me if you're interested, but keep in mind that I'll probably have about a hundred other tabs open (I'm only slightly exaggerating here), and might be a little slow to respond. I don't know that people use IM anymore anyway, and I haven't yet tried to figure out Skype.

No new Simpsons tonight, but Bob's Burgers was funny, and I liked the parody of Dumbo's pink elephant scene. That sequence really was creepy, wasn't it? As for Family Guy, it had some good moments, but I think it was one of those episodes that simply used an old cliché rather than doing anything to make fun of it. That's been disturbingly common on that show recently. And now, well, I should probably go to bed before too much longer, but I probably won't. Beth and I both stayed up really late last night, and while I went back to bed after dropping her off at the bus terminal, I didn't get a full night's sleep. Since I didn't get up until the evening, though, I'm not tired now. Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we don't have a regular sleep schedule! Oh, well. At least I only work four hours tomorrow, and Beth has the day off, so I don't have to take her. So in the end, it doesn't really matter a whole lot, does it?