Stratovania

1. Online Presence and Future - Between this journal, Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, it can sometimes be a bit of a challenge deciding where to address a certain topic. Really, I don't use Facebook much except to link to stuff I've written elsewhere, as I find the interface rather overly complicated. On the other hand, that's where I have the most followers, so there's no accounting for tastes. I use Tumblr pretty much exclusively for pictures and videos, although I'll occasionally throw in a link or a brief text post. Twitter is for brief observations (as it pretty much has to be by its very nature; I actually kind of like the fact that it prevents me from being unnecessarily verbose), and this journal is for a real mishmash of stuff. Lately, I've been writing more topic-specific posts (Oz, mythology, video games, etc.) than personal stuff here on LJ, and I have to wonder if it's really the best medium for that. It's convenient, but bethje has said she suspects people tend to see "LiveJournal" and think it's going to be someone whining about their relationships (which I do do, but not quite as often). She and some other people have suggested getting my own domain, but I have to admit I have no clue how to do that, or how to work with it when I do have it. I know some people have blogs (i.e., movable type) on sites that aren't specifically tailored for it (like LiveJournal, Blogspot, Wordpress, etc.), so I know it's very possible, but I don't know how to arrange such a thing. And does anyone think I'd actually get more traffic that way, or would it just be a waste of money? I'm looking for input here, people!

2. iPod So You Don't Have To - I've been considering getting a new MP3 player, since my current one is now about four years old. It still plays, but it has occasional problems, and it's probably better not to wait until it conks out entirely. I currently have a Creative player, and I like it, but I don't think they make any with much storage capacity these days. I know some of the iPod Classics can store a lot of music, but is it true that you can only use those with one computer? I've heard that, if you plug an iPod into someone else's computer, it will erase all of the stored data. Is this true, and if so, is there any way to get around it?

3. This Is Not Really an Item - I already mentioned this on Twitter, but I thought I'd elaborate on how ridiculous I found it when an eHarmony commercial insisted that it WASN'T a dating site. Their explanation for this was that it was a match-making site, or something like that. I forget the actual phrase they used, but it was something that sounded suspiciously like a dating site to me. It reminded me of something I first read in a Chick Tract and later heard from other fundamentalists, which is that Christianity isn't a religion, but a relationship with God. I don't think any of them have been able to sufficiently explain what the difference is, though. Is saying things aren't what they pretty obviously are a growing trend?

4. Brangelina Blues - Well, I've now heard about 80,000 times from various media that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are breaking up, although they officially deny it. Wow, what a shock! You know, if you get shocked by really obvious things. ("Oh, wow! Grass is GREEN!") Didn't Brad cheat on Jennifer Aniston with Ms. Jolie in the first place? Not that I really blame him for that one, since at least Angelina is somewhat interesting. Ms. Aniston has to be one of the dullest people in the entertainment business, yet somehow she keeps appearing on magazine covers. The story usually seems to be something like "Jen upset over break-up," which I suppose is news because people who didn't star in Friends just LOVE breaking up. But anyway, my point is that I never figured either Brad or Angelina for the type who goes for stable relationships.

5. Haitian Satan - An interesting post I read today puts Pat Robertson's moronic comments about Haiti into context. Apparently the idea that the Haitians are in league with the Prince of Darkness is nothing new, because some Christians assume that Voodoo rituals must be Satanic. Yes, we're back to the idea that every god other than yours has to be the Devil in disguise, as if Satan really has that much free time. As the article mentions, Christianity itself was subject to that sort of slur in its early days. I can't say I believe in any of these gods, but I always kind of liked the ancient Roman notion that having more gods would strengthen the state. Really, I think paganism would work out well in today's society, because as it is we have hundreds of different interpretations of the same deity. If you really want a violent deity, why bother insisting that the notorious pacifist Jesus would have been cool with guns? Just become a devotee of a war god (Ares/Mars, Tyr, Mithras, etc.), and you can easily mix your pro-war stance with your religious fanaticism! Also, I think I might do an article on Voodoo mythology in the near future, as I don't know a whole lot about it and it sounds interesting. I do know one of their gods (or loa, anyway) is a skeleton in a top hat, and how can you go wrong with that?

Hey, guess what? There's a new Chick Tract online! It's called "Some Like It Hot," but I see no sign of cross-dressing or Marilyn Monroe. Instead, it's more stuff about how the Devil controls every major world religion except the one Jack Chick believes (which he's actually claimed in other tracts isn't a religion at all, but I relationship with God; I fail to see the difference). I think there have been a few different Satans in the world of Chick, but I like how this one is a chubby little guy who walks around without a shirt on. It's certainly not one of the more majestic representations of the Evil One, but despite the horns he's not particularly beast-like either. I'm not sure whether or not it was Chick himself who drew this tract, but it's actually kind of interesting. I think Jack usually does his best work when he's making no attempt at being realistic, and that's certainly what we see here. The really cartoony Grandpa looks like a cereal mascot ("Eat Sin Flakes, a part of this completely blasphemous breakfast!"), and the hellhound is appropriately grotesque. (On the other hand, it DOES look totally different in the two panels in which it appears, unless those are actually supposed to two different devilish creatures.)

Some other noteworthy bits in this one:

• "I thought heaven was for sissies." That's pretty similar to what the one truck driver says in this tract, but has any real person ever said anything along those lines?
  
• Satan has a pretty nice big screen TV, doesn't he? I guess being the tyrannical ruler of Hell has its perks.
  
• How many Bibles don't include that verse from 1 John? Chick probably didn't just make that up on his own, but it's certainly in translations other than the King James, which Jack thinks is the only valid one.
  
• I assume Lucifer must have competed in the Olympics, since it looks like he's flying above the rings.
  
• Satan framed Jesus? How? From the accounts given in the Bible, it sounds like Jesus really DID break the law. It was just a dumb law. Then again, Jack probably thinks it was the Devil who made up the Roman laws in the first place.
  
• Sorry, Satan, but I think a fair amount of the Gospel does a good enough job of making itself look silly on its own. Maybe you should find a new hobby.
  
• The Devil didn't like Henry, so he's punishing Henry's relatives. I guess old Lucifer learned from the best in that respect!
  

Wow, two new Chick Tracts! It's like I died and went to Fundamentalist Heaven! Which, according to Jack Chick, is the only heaven there is. The first one deals with Santeria, which is kind of odd, as I didn't know that was really a significant religious movement nowadays. Actually, about the only other time I remember reading about Santeria was when I took a criminal law class in college, and I checked out a case where their right to perform animal sacrifice was being challenged. I have to wonder what religious group Jack will take on next. Will it be the John Frum cargo cult, or maybe people who list "Jedi Knight" as their religion on census forms? I remember someone saying he should do a tract on Scientology, because then they might actually have to take his side. Then again, even when Chick addresses religions that are crazier than his own, he almost inevitably misrepresents their beliefs anyway. He'd probably try to come up with some bizarre link between L. Ron Hubbard and the Pope. Getting back to this particular tract, he presents a world in which spells cast by witch doctors of ambiguous gender who spit on chickens actually work, and only Jesus can save you from them. Which suggests that non-Christian religions aren't totally wrong; it's just that the Christian God can beat up all the other gods. Which is kind of what it says in the Torah, isn't it?

I don't have as much to say about the other tract, but be forewarned that it's one of the ones intended especially for black audiences, which means work by the artist on Chick's staff whose drawings are much more realistic, but just as offensive and disturbing. Not to mention that everyone in his drawings has totally smooth skin. I have to find out what moisturizer the people in all-black Chick Tracts use. {g} This is hardly Chick's first foray into deal-with-the-Devil territory, but I've noticed he pretty much always ends these tracts with someone saying Satan gets everyone's souls by default anyway. If that's true, though, why does he even bother making bargains?

Oh, and just out of curiosity, is there any evidence that Jack T. Chick himself is still alive? I'm sure it would be easy enough for them to keep cranking out these tracts after the death of the original author, and I think a lot of the "new" ones are just slightly edited versions of tracts that came out some time ago.

If you're bored, why not take a look at the new Chick Tract? It's called "Somebody Angry?", suggesting that Jack has forgotten how grammar works, and it just gets stupider from there. Do you want to know what he blames for the most devastating hurricanes and other natural disasters of the past few years? Homosexuals? Good guess, but no. It's the national policy on Israel! And really, who better to tell us how to interact with Israel than a guy who draws all of his villains as Jewish caricatures? According to that text box near the end, every time the American government made concessions to the Palestinians, a terrible storm came up. And for some reason, Chick describes the destruction caused by these storms in terms of cost, and not human beings killed or left homeless. I thought you were supposed to be pro-life, Jack! Anyway, as bethje pointed out when I told her about this tract on the phone, wasn't there some warning as to the arrival of these storms BEFORE the perceived slights to Israel? Storms are unpredictable to an extent, but everything they do is in accord with natural laws. Now, if a storm appears out of nowhere with no build-up whatsoever and then just as suddenly stops, or the rain consisted of ice cream and gumballs, THEN I might start paying heed to the arguments that they're messages from God. As for Israel, I can't say I have the same unconditional support for the nation that the older generations seem to. As I was growing up, I always heard about attacks on Israel, but also attacks BY Israelis on their neighbors. But I guess I have to believe that Israel can do no wrong, because the Bible includes some propaganda saying that God gave that land to the Hebrews, even though there were already people living there (apparently largely consisting of laughing giants in kilts, if this tract is any indication), and the kingdom at its height probably never ACTUALLY reached to the Euphrates. Oh, except the Bible says the Jews killed Jesus, so now I don't know WHAT to think. Oh, wait, I see. All the Jews who survive Armageddon will convert to Christianity, and Jesus will rule from Jerusalem. I'm not entirely sure why we have to start preparing for that now, when God is supposed to have planned a whole bunch of plagues to take care of anyone who opposes this idea, but no one has ever said Chick's beliefs were particularly consistent.

Another thing I came across more or less randomly (by which I mean there WAS a series of events that led to it, but they're not at all important), was something about Hindus being angry about Heidi Klum dressing up as the goddess Kali. I mean, I can't say I have any particular affection for Frau Klum (although a supermodel marrying a notoriously ugly guy (which didn't work out so well for Christie Brinkley, but hey) might well serve as an inspiration to all the guys who feel they're too unattractive to get girlfriends), but it's not exactly Prince Harry wearing an SS uniform, is it? I've generally thought of Hinduism as a pretty liberal religion, aside from that caste business, but I haven't really heard of Christians getting steamed over someone dressing up as Jesus. Then again, you'd probably get a fatwah against you if you dressed up as Muhammad. Anyway, do modern Hindus really think Kali is a blue woman, any more than modern Christians actually think God is a bearded dude on a cloud?

There's a new Chick Tract, but really, there isn't much I can say about it. It's one that seems to be intentionally silly, to the point that it almost seems like Jack is making fun of himself. But other things he's written suggest that he really DOES believe in vampires. Apparently they lose their fangs once they convert to Christianity, though. I do have to wonder why the vampire party in the second panel is being attended by some kind of troll. Did he miss the memo and wear the wrong costume? And the black guy in the sunglasses doesn't appear to be wearing a costume at all. Maybe he's someone's bodyguard, but why would a vampire need one of them? Still, since most of the characters in this one are SUPPOSED to look weird, the art is probably more effective than usual.

I notice that, as in previous tracts, Chick's Devil has the traditional horns and goatee. That's one of the more recognizable and interesting appearances for Satan, but I can't imagine it would normally be that effective for tricking people. There have, of course, been a lot of different conceptions of Satan over the years, from a suave intellectual to Dante's hairy three-headed monster. Nowadays, it seems like the Devil is often portrayed as a sleazy used car salesman type, which seems rather demeaning for a guy who's sometimes credited as ruler of the entire material world.

Anyway, happy birthday to revme, and to themall!

Hey, there's a new Chick Tract! And I know I say this every time, but...he can't be serious, can he? I mean, this has every stupid argument Creationists use, including the "Darwin paved the way for the Holocaust" one that Ben Stein apparently also likes. "Survival of the fittest" was actually not a Darwinian idea, but I'm sure it would be too much to expect Chick to know this. (On the other hand, if Ben doesn't know it, it makes me wonder how anyone had any trouble at all winning his money.) Perhaps even better, however, is the line, "Since there is no God, I am a god!" It MIGHT be possible to come up with a more logically flawed sentence, but it would take some work. This tract also features the evil monkey from Family Guy (title page), a happy "polywog" (panel 6), a walking fish (panel 8), a fat nerd with a golf club representing the pinnacle of evolution (panel 12), a whole lot of Fang, atheism making a kid's eyes look crazy (panel 20 and on), what looks to be a demonic miniature cow (panel 31), and a little kid dropping dead (panel 40). And I think the girl trying to preach to Tyler is Margaret from Dennis the Menace.