I'm Not So Gay About This Agenda

[vovat]

I'm most likely not doing a video game post this week, unless I think of something while I'm at work. I've been known (well, known by myself, anyway) to plan out posts pretty much word for word while working, although of course they don't come out exactly the same when I actually write them. The Mushroom Guru posts were fun, but I've largely run out of ideas, and I can only recall receiving two comments on them anyway. Am I using the wrong forum, or were they just not funny? Either is possible, but it's difficult to tell when no one leaves feedback. And when I make comments like that, it's pretty much always people who comment on other posts anyway who leave a reply like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I've been busy recently." While I definitely appreciate your replies, I'm really not talking to you, but to anyone reading this who NEVER comments. Then again, maybe there aren't any people in that category. I don't know. While I'll probably keep using LiveJournal for posts about my life, is there a better place for my creative experiments and observations on religion and mythology? And if so, would it be possible for me to an RSS feed on LJ, so people who DO like this format would be able to read them without going somewhere else? I feel like I've asked these same basic questions many times, and while I've gotten answers, they've never really been enough to go on. Really, that's mostly my fault, though. I'm just not sure where to get started.

Anyway, I originally wasn't going to make a post at all today, but then I came across this article. Aren't you glad that ridiculous bigotry is still alive and well? Because I'm not, but it looks like someone must be. bethje had told me earlier about Constance McMillen not being able to bring her girlfriend to her prom, and how when the ACLU got involved, the school just canceled the prom entirely. Well, they apparently settled the issue by holding a small event for Constance and her date that only four other people attended, while other students attended a separate prom. I wondered for a minute why anyone would have attended the separate prom knowing the prejudice that went into the decision, but then I remembered that we're talking about high school students here. The article touches on how cruel an environment high school is for anyone who's different in pretty much any way, and how the schools rarely do anything to prevent this. In fact, in this case, we have the school coming right out and saying, "Hooray for homophobia!" Doesn't it figure that this school would be in Mississippi, and have "agricultural" in its name? Does a state that's stereotyped so much by the rest of the country really want to perpetuate the stereotypes? Come on, if you're portrayed as marrying your first cousins and having five kids by the time you're sixteen, it's probably not a good idea to marginalize anyone else for their sexual identity. Obviously the redneck stereotypes aren't true for most people either, but this school and its students certainly aren't helping matters. Oh, and of course there are also bigots leaving comments on the article, yakking about the "gay agenda." First of all, this is a phrase that you obviously took from someone else, meaning you're just parroting another person's thoughts. And really, if you want to talk about agendas, which is more of one? Wanting to have the same civil rights as everyone else, or working hard to overturn that pesky separation of church and state?

Comments

[kevenn.livejournal.com]

I don't have much to say about video games posts because I suck @ video games and don't play them. :)

The Constance McMillan story has done a great job at illustrating how things are still so un-equal for gay Americans. Yes, Constance got a scholarship and internship thanks to Ellen DeGeneres. Yes, she'll be able to get out of there - but what about the next gay kid who comes along? Is leaving their only recourse too? I feel very sad for LGBT people in that area.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I suck at video games, but I still have a lot to say about them. {g}

I have to wonder how many other people there are in the same situation as Constance, but who wouldn't go to the authorities about it, because they're too shy or scared or whatever. Hey, I probably would be. While I have great respect for people who ARE willing to stand up for their rights, true equality is when you don't have to.

[zimbra1006.livejournal.com]

The mushroom guru posts were hilarious! I just didn't have anything to add. :)

And that prom story is really ridiculous. My brother's (later) girlfriend went to her senior prom with another girl, at our Catholic school. Granted they just went as friends (but who would necessarily know the difference?) and this was in California, but still. No one gave a crap. The thing that makes me even sadder is reading the types of comments people post about the situation on stories from Yahoo news, etc.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

The mushroom guru posts were hilarious! I just didn't have anything to add.

I know I'm usually reluctant to leave a comment that just says I liked the post, but maybe sometimes it's a good idea. You know, Golden Rule and all that.

The thing that makes me even sadder is reading the types of comments people post about the situation on stories from Yahoo news, etc.

What I have to wonder is how those people ever learned how to read. :P

[rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com]

I just can't believe that there weren't more (ANY?) adults PROTESTING the fake prom idea when it came up! High schoolers are one thing, with the trauma of fitting in and the general stupidity of youth in general, but honestly shouldn't grown-ups ACT like grown-ups?! And did none of them realize that, whatever your views on homosexuality, what they were doing to her is BLATANT BULLYING/HARASSMENT and is certainly not What Jesus Would Do? The mind boggles.

Also, I know nothing of video games, but like you said, I'm probably one of those people who comments enough elsewhere that you're not TALKING to me in the first place. As for formats, I don't think it really matters what format you use, just that people FIND you. Comment a lot and in really clever ways on other people's related blogs and maybe you'll attract people. I just got at least one person like that myself just yesterday, and I don't post nearly as often as you do!

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Well, I have to suspect that a lot of these kids LEARNED their bigotry from their parents.

Comment a lot and in really clever ways on other people's related blogs and maybe you'll attract people. I just got at least one person like that myself just yesterday, and I don't post nearly as often as you do!

I know some people have said they aren't able to comment on LJ, though, so that might be a reason to move at least some of my posts elsewhere. Then again, I guess it makes it easier for other people ON LJ.

[rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com]

And I have seen people who make lj identities "just to comment." But when you're not logged in and you go down to comment, it GIVES you the options to comment "anonymously" (and then you can always sign your name yourself) or even OpenID (which covers MOST other bloggy situations), so I'm still not sure what the problem is, and why anyone NEEDS an lj Just to Comment or whatever. I can see having to make an lj identity so that a real-life friend can friend you so that you can read their locked posts, but that's the sort of situation you wouldn't have in another blog format anyway (who locks Blogger posts?)

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure it's possible to lock Blogger posts.

But when you're not logged in and you go down to comment, it GIVES you the options to comment "anonymously" (and then you can always sign your name yourself)

True, although it seems like a fair number of people don't.

[suegypt.livejournal.com]

Baby, I'm from Mississippi, and I've been liberal all my life so don't put that shit on Mississippi just because they have stupid bigots who are proud of being idiots. If you want to get true, I bet there's just as many bigoted assholes in New Jersey, but you wouldn't make the extra snide remarks if this post was out of NJ. You'd probably just say, "That's something you'd expect in Mississippi or Alabama!"

GRRRRRRRRRRH.

OK, calmer now. I read almost all your posts, but just because I don't comment doesn't mean I don't appreciate you. If you don't care for me to see them because I occasionally comment on your stuff, then, maybe this is the wrong place for those posts. Or for me. Or something. I'm depressed.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Baby, I'm from Mississippi, and I've been liberal all my life so don't put that shit on Mississippi just because they have stupid bigots who are proud of being idiots.

That's fair. It does seem like there are more stories about this kind of thing happening in the South, but maybe that has something to do with the media thinking it's okay to insult Southerners. After all, most of the news outlets aren't located there, are they? And California is supposed to be a liberal state, but they also banned gay marriage.

I don't quite understand the final paragraph. You comment a fair amount, and I appreciate your feedback.

[1womp.livejournal.com]

Wow. Those are 2 completely different topics, but the combination has prompted me to respond (even though, as a somewhat frequent responder, you're "not really talking to" me). OK, so to "Topic A"...

For me, the gaming references might as well be Farsi. While fun, they are usually over my head, and a bit like turning on a favorite nightly program only to discover a re-run. But that's just me. I wouldn't change your blog "mix" even if I could. I like to think of your posts as chapters of a novel; even seemingly unrelated passages help build a deeper, weightier story. I think that the lack of response has only a little to do with where you are posting. LiveJournal, being a forum of bloggers, is populated pretty exclusively by people who believe (true or not) that they are "writers" of some sort. Commenting on another's post is, to them (and me too, I suppose), like Aretha Franklin singing back-up for Miley Cyrus ("I'll stoop to it as a unique, magnanimous gesture, but don't forget who the real star is here"). I haven't posted a darn thing in my own blog since the first few days of 2010, so each response I post feels almost like a betrayal ("Why don't you spend this kind of time writing your own blog, dummy?"). Otherwise, the lack of response may be a matter of construction. Your posts seldom end with an explicit request for a specific response. Unless you are looking for a "You're awesome" comment, the posts that get the most commentary are your memes and questionnaires. Maybe you should actively invite participation with your Mushroom Guru posts (video games being, after all, an interactive medium). Another reason you may not be getting the number of responses that you've expected is simply time. These posts need time to seep, to sink into the Interwebs where interested parties can eventually come across them. By then, perhaps years after the posts were written, commenting might seem futile ("OMG! That Declaration of Independence thing you wrote is DA-BOMB, TJ!"). Maybe you're looking for an argument? Of your most frequent topic categories, though, there is very little controversy in "goofy old games of the past." If I were to give actual advice, I guess it would be to do what makes the most sense to you, then let the chips fall where they may.

Now, as for "Topic B," I can only say that I have had a long, complicated relationship with Proms. When I was an actual teen, Prom was just another school-sanctioned reminder of how unpopular, ugly, and awkward I was. Even though I was not gay, they probably would still have canceled my Prom if I had ever threatened to appear, with or without a date. By the time my little sister was on Prom Court, I saw, with haughty late-teen detachment and "wisdom," that the whole thing is a faux wedding ceremony, if not a disgusting mating ritual. My opinion changed a little when I began to draw caricatures at Proms and Post-Prom events. I began to see how young high-schoolers really are. Like many events that take a kid out of a comfort zone, Proms are an opportunity for young people to develop social skills, and reveal character, in a relatively safe environment. In that light, it is bad enough that the stupid Itawamba school reacted so egregiously when a kid - technically one of their legal wards - simply wanted to participate, but, as that article pointed out, the fact that they then held a "Separate But Unequal Prom" is absolutely one of the most outrageous "solutions" I could even imagine! And if you don't think that this is a Civil Rights issue, you should leave the high school Prom early and go back to your History homework. I'm surprised that they didn't have to wear rainbow-colored Stars of David on their Prom dresses, or weren't assigned "appropriate" Prom dates based on breeding compatibility. And the many cartoonishly evil responses to the story do have one positive aspect; they prove that this is OBVIOUSLY one of those cases when the Law (IE: The Government) must step up to protect a minority's rights from being trampled upon by the majority. Ugh. The whole thing is just so depressing.

OK. I'm done pontificating for now. Hey, you might not get a lot of responses, but a long, weird comment like this one makes up for it, right?

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I think that the lack of response has only a little to do with where you are posting. LiveJournal, being a forum of bloggers, is populated pretty exclusively by people who believe (true or not) that they are "writers" of some sort. Commenting on another's post is, to them (and me too, I suppose), like Aretha Franklin singing back-up for Miley Cyrus ("I'll stoop to it as a unique, magnanimous gesture, but don't forget who the real star is here").

I can see that, although wouldn't someone who likes showing off their writing also want to comment a fair amount? I generally do.

Unless you are looking for a "You're awesome" comment, the posts that get the most commentary are your memes and questionnaires.

I don't know about that. I don't have any statistics, but it seems like I generally get more responses when I ask for advice or address an issue (like in this post, for instance).

Maybe you should actively invite participation with your Mushroom Guru posts (video games being, after all, an interactive medium).

Actually, if you look at the next to last sentence in this post (http://vovat.livejournal.com/722012.html), I did.

[vilajunkie.livejournal.com]

OK, I could write some longer responses, but right now I'm kinda tired, being that it's almost 11PM right now.

Anyway, on to the first matter: Have you considered joining some LJ communities and posting your video game and religion/mythology entries on those as well? You may get some more responses there. Can't say how often people respond to those either, though. Maintaining a blog solely on video games and/or religion and mythology may be another idea worth looking into. However, I think part of the issue is that you're participating in the online community enough. Like me, you need to learn to toot your own horn and advertise yourself once in a while.

I could write an entire series of posts on the next topic you wrote about. Here's the short version: How many of the students who attended the "straight" prom or who didn't go to prom at all were GLBTQA themselves? Probably a much larger number than the school administrators realize. Creating a separate prom is even more isolating than just letting the few students who are brave enough to show up with a same-sex date attend the "normal" prom. It's sad that GLBTQA people are still treated like shit by the majority of society--not just a "backwater" state like Mississippi.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I sometimes post to communities, but I usually don't like to double-post. Maybe that's something I need to get over, though.

[kerylr.livejournal.com]

See, one thing that bothers me is that I've got no idea if this girl is the kind of person anyone else at her high school would want to spend time with. Different or not, weird or not, gay or not, she just might not be much fun to be around.

We went to high school together, how much would you have wanted to spend your prom with some of those peaches who roamed the halls of DHS? Especially if you had a good idea that it'd be you, them, and pretty much no one else? Hell, I skipped my entire senior year to get away from a lot of them. Skipping an alternative prom to avoid people I didn't personally like wouldn't be much of a stretch.

Likewise, standing with people who weren't popular because I liked them wasn't a problem. Maybe she had a really nice prom with just the four people she liked and actually liked her, in attendance.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I guess it isn't so much that other people DIDN'T attend the event for Constance, but rather that they DID attend the so-called secret prom (which must not have been much of a secret if everyone else in the school knew about it). Maybe they didn't want to hang around her, and perhaps she enjoyed the country club event more than she would the regular prom (I probably would have), but I think the issue is bigger than her specific situation.

[(Anonymous)]

There's a lot of fucked up stuff that goes on with Proms and high schools around the country. A lot of it is predicated on tradition. And in bumblefuck Alabama their traditions would not be known for their tolerance.

When you say, "Does a state that's stereotyped so much by the rest of the country really want to perpetuate the stereotypes?" I think that shows you don't know the average southern mindset.

So let me enlighten you...

...THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK.

Which, if I had to guess, is probably quite similarly to how you'd feel about THEIR backwards opinions. I know it's quite similar to how I feel about them.

From article:
""It's a small town in Mississippi, and it's run by an older generation with money. Most of them are more conservative and they don't agree with it," she told the Associated Press.
...
"I think the community as a whole is probably in support of the school district," Walker said of the town of about 4,000."

Now, as unfair as this might be to this lesbian, I can't help but feel "Well, whaddya expect?!".

...further demonstrating...
"Aside from the discrimination, school officials have also needlessly created a hostile environment on campus. McMillen's peers feel animosity toward her since she is the reason their dance was canceled."
...I mean seriously? She feels animosity since she is the reason their dance was canceled? Really? No shit, you don't say.


Sometimes the mature thing to do is to accept your circumstances when they suck, bide your time while making due, and then get the fuck out of Dodge.

I mean, do you really think if you waltzed into a shitty ghetto and tried to strike a conversation up about Wizard of Oz with the wrong people... when they demonstrate their animosity towards you, who's going to say this was terribly unfair of them? RATHER, you'd simply be a dumbass, wouldn't you?

[vovat.livejournal.com]

So let me enlighten you...

...THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK.

Which, if I had to guess, is probably quite similarly to how you'd feel about THEIR backwards opinions.

In some ways that's true, but intolerance isn't really a matter that you can just reduce to a "hey, your opinion is different" kind of thing. And if there was a widespread feeling that I was intolerant in some way, I'd probably be a little worried about it.

"Aside from the discrimination, school officials have also needlessly created a hostile environment on campus. McMillen's peers feel animosity toward her since she is the reason their dance was canceled."

But unless there's something to this story I don't know about (which is possible), she DIDN'T seek to ruin things for everyone else. That was the decision of the school, and they later went back on it anyway. So no, as far as I can tell, she wasn't "the reason their dance was canceled"; the school administration was.

I mean, do you really think if you waltzed into a shitty ghetto and tried to strike a conversation up about Wizard of Oz with the wrong people... when they demonstrate their animosity towards you, who's going to say this was terribly unfair of them? RATHER, you'd simply be a dumbass, wouldn't you?

But whether or not people want to converse with me isn't a civil rights issue, is it?

[(Anonymous)]

Unfortunately intolerance is not guaranteed by our country nor mandated. It's a pipe dream to believe everybody will tolerate everything.

You're right, the girl AFAIK did not intend to ruin prom and I agree that the school's decision was absurd. But again, it was pretty absurd to make a to-do out of this without expecting these sorts of consequences. If you're going to pioneer a stand against social injustice you MUST accept and expect these backlashes. It is going to happen. So to coddle and sympathize for her is sort of condescending IMO: she doesn't need our sympathies, she needs support to stand strong.

Your conversations are not a civil rights issue but neither is that tongue-in-cheek example the point that is made. I think you might be choosing to ignore my point: there are obvious consequences that just 'go with the territory'.

Society doesn't need a bunch of half-hearted civil rights pioneers, here. How effective would MLK have been had he bemoaned and pussyfooted around every roadbump he faced? Stand tall, with pride and dignity and move forward with respect for that which is respectable and ignore the rest. What's the alternative? And I'm not saying this girl is not doing that, I sort of get the feeling that the general reaction to her plight is not encouraging her so much as it is sympathizing for her and complaining about the bigots or whatever you want to call them.