vovat: (Minotaur)
[personal profile] vovat
So Bristol Palin had a son, and his name is Tripp Johnston. Okay, first of all, I've never understood the tradition of giving kids the father's name when the parents aren't married, and all he really did was impregnate the mother (a real chore for him, I'm sure). But obviously, it's the first name that's really crazy. Did they name him after family hero Linda Tripp, or after the acid trip that all Palins apparently go on before naming their kids? Really, the names in that family sound like they belong to weird little creatures in a fairy tale, rather than people in real life. You know, something like:

Once upon a time, in the midst of the great frozen Northern Land, right at the front of the North Wind, where the Snow Imps chase the Frost Nymphs, there lived a queen who had five children. Their names were Track, Bristol, Piper, Willow, and Trig. Every day, the queen would ride on her flying broomstick to shoot unicorns and manticores, and then brought them home for her family to eat. When people asked why she was killing manticores (which are, after all, very rare beasts), she would reply, "If I didn't, they eat all the unicorns." And when people asked why she was also killing unicorns, she would reply, "If I didn't, the manticores would just eat them."

As time passed, the children grew older, as children will do. Track went off to fight in the war that the High King had declared in the Crocodile Kingdom, deep in the heart of the Desolate Desert. The High King had claimed that the Crocodile People would hail the soldiers as alligators, but the reality was not so simple. Bristol had her own son with a peasant, and named the baby Tripp. True to his name, Tripp was unsteady on his feet. One day, a few years later, when he was walking through the Forest of Infinite Recession, he fell over a tree root. When he lifted his head, he found himself lying at the feet of an old woman, with hair as white as the Snow Imps. She helped the boy to his feet, and asked him if he had some food he could share with her.

"I have food, but I won't share it," said Tripp. "My grandmother says that, if we give food to people who don't earn it themselves, they'll feel a sense of entitlement, and will never become productive members of society."

With that, the old woman revealed that she was really the Good Fairy of the Frozen North, and placed a curse on Tripp. Until he could overcome his selfishness, he would have an elephant's trunk in place of a nose.

Okay, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, so I'll just close out the post by mentioning some dreams I've had recently:

  • I was at some kind of event taking place in an open-air stadium, which I believe was supposed to be a concert, but it keep changing (as things are wont to do in dreams). It was apparently in Philadelphia or thereabouts, because an announcer asked if there were any Eagles fans in the audience, and a whole bunch of people started cheering. For some reason, I had the need to yell out that football sucks, and the team was named after a symbol of imperialism. I don't think anyone actually listened to me, though.
  • I was in some city, where I saw a PETA building, and right across the parking lot was a restaurant that served ribs and such. I was amused by the juxtaposition, and tried to take pictures, but none of them were coming out right. While I was there, a bunch of people from PETA came out and started throwing things at the restaurant, but it looked like more of a friendly feud than an actual demonstration.
  • I was in a different city, this time in a weird world where regular people co-existed with various fictional characters. There was a preacher trying to get us all to join a cult involving aliens or something, but we were saved by Bert and Ernie (you know, from Sesame Street), who had a helicopter.
  • [livejournal.com profile] bethje and I were walking through a tunnel that started out as just a small underpass, but turned into something more like an amusement park waiting area. All of our household's dogs turned out to be in there.

Date: 2009-01-01 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suegypt.livejournal.com
Hooha! That was priceless!! I love the fable, and can't wait for it to come true, in some fashion or other. Although, really, I wish you had made Tripp's grandma grow the trunk, not to be rid of it until the little bugger's enlightenment.

And I can so see Bert and Ernie saving you with their helicopter. Later you find that sunny Ernie is really an alien himself, and the strangely quiet Bert is his first conquest. You will be the second...

Date: 2009-01-01 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vovat.livejournal.com
Although, really, I wish you had made Tripp's grandma grow the trunk, not to be rid of it until the little bugger's enlightenment.

Well, it was kind of stream-of-consciousness. I'm glad you liked it, by the way.

Later you find that sunny Ernie is really an alien himself

Hey, maybe he's one of those yip-yip Martians in disguise! {g}

yip yip yip yip tripp tripp

Date: 2009-01-01 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suegypt.livejournal.com
I was just trying not to add to little Tripp's burdens (uh, his name, uh, his family, uh), after all, he's innocent, as far as I know.

Date: 2009-01-02 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] annamatic.livejournal.com
This fairy tale is awesome.

Date: 2009-01-02 12:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vovat.livejournal.com
Thanks!

Date: 2009-01-06 08:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yosef.livejournal.com
I ditto that too!

I guess at least those kids all have memorable names. I wonder what their middle names are...

Date: 2009-01-07 12:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vovat.livejournal.com
Thanks. It looks like Trig's middle name is Paxson, but I can't find out anything about the others. Maybe they don't have them.

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