![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vovatThis is going to be a pretty whiny, self-indulgent post. If you don't like that kind of thing, you should probably skip it. Except then you'd sort of be confirming my fears. Oh, well.
Anyway, I'm always afraid that people find me dreadfully boring. I guess it's sort of a combination of semi-childish egomania (I want people to pay attention to me!) and social anxiety. I might well have mentioned this in the past, but it's been on my mind again recently. I have the desire to be appreciated, and I don't always see it as being fulfilled. For instance, when I make a post and no one comments, I feel like it means no one was interested in it. I realize that there's a lapse of logic involved there; and there have been things that interested me, but to which I couldn't think of a reply. So I suppose it's a somewhat hypocritical attitude in that respect. It's just that, in the absence of positive (or even negative) feedback, I sometimes tend to assume the worst. That's not to say that I want people to make comments saying things like, "Wow, that post sure was interesting!" I think I might rather be boring than patronized. What I want is for what I post to spark conversation.
I'm inclined to think part of the problem is that I write about a lot of things that just don't interest anybody else. Take Oz books, for instance. There are a few people on my friends list who are interested in Oz, but even they haven't necessarily read the Bloodsucking Goatherds of Oz type of apocryphal material that I've been known to write about. But when I've finished reading something, I want to discuss it with other people, and that's not always possible. Even when it's something that a lot of my readers ARE interested in, that doesn't mean they'll care about what I have to say. Even though most of my LJ friends share my They Might Be Giants fandom, that doesn't mean they'll want to read my song-by-song breakdown of their latest album. A lot of people seem to be content to read a book or listen to an album, and not say anything about it beyond "that was cool" or "that sucked." I, on the other hand, want to analyze and discuss it to death. And even worse, I love to talk about media in ways that DON'T involve much thought, like making lists of my favorite song on each album, or all the Oz characters who ended up settling in the Emerald City, or whatever. I usually keep this stuff off my journal, yet I'm quite eager to do whatever list-intensive memes show up on my friends page.
So I guess that's that. Hopefully my next post will be less emoriffic. Look forward to stuff about song lyrics, a dream I had last night, and the possibility of moving. Or, you know, don't.
Anyway, I'm always afraid that people find me dreadfully boring. I guess it's sort of a combination of semi-childish egomania (I want people to pay attention to me!) and social anxiety. I might well have mentioned this in the past, but it's been on my mind again recently. I have the desire to be appreciated, and I don't always see it as being fulfilled. For instance, when I make a post and no one comments, I feel like it means no one was interested in it. I realize that there's a lapse of logic involved there; and there have been things that interested me, but to which I couldn't think of a reply. So I suppose it's a somewhat hypocritical attitude in that respect. It's just that, in the absence of positive (or even negative) feedback, I sometimes tend to assume the worst. That's not to say that I want people to make comments saying things like, "Wow, that post sure was interesting!" I think I might rather be boring than patronized. What I want is for what I post to spark conversation.
I'm inclined to think part of the problem is that I write about a lot of things that just don't interest anybody else. Take Oz books, for instance. There are a few people on my friends list who are interested in Oz, but even they haven't necessarily read the Bloodsucking Goatherds of Oz type of apocryphal material that I've been known to write about. But when I've finished reading something, I want to discuss it with other people, and that's not always possible. Even when it's something that a lot of my readers ARE interested in, that doesn't mean they'll care about what I have to say. Even though most of my LJ friends share my They Might Be Giants fandom, that doesn't mean they'll want to read my song-by-song breakdown of their latest album. A lot of people seem to be content to read a book or listen to an album, and not say anything about it beyond "that was cool" or "that sucked." I, on the other hand, want to analyze and discuss it to death. And even worse, I love to talk about media in ways that DON'T involve much thought, like making lists of my favorite song on each album, or all the Oz characters who ended up settling in the Emerald City, or whatever. I usually keep this stuff off my journal, yet I'm quite eager to do whatever list-intensive memes show up on my friends page.
So I guess that's that. Hopefully my next post will be less emoriffic. Look forward to stuff about song lyrics, a dream I had last night, and the possibility of moving. Or, you know, don't.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-04-19 12:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-19 05:46 pm (UTC)Thanks. For some reason, I find this so much easier to do with TMBG than with any other band. I've tried to do song-by-song breakdowns on albums by other artists, but a lot of the song reviews just come out as "yeah, this one is pretty cool too." I do always find things easier to review when I have a point of reference, though, and I definitely do with TMBG. And with Simpsons episodes, for that matter.
There's really nothing in the Oz books approaching a bloodsucking goatherd. Now that I think about it, though, that title makes me wonder whether it's the goats or the herders who are doing the bloodsucking.