That's boring! You're boring everybody! Quit boring everyone!

[vovat]

This is going to be a pretty whiny, self-indulgent post. If you don't like that kind of thing, you should probably skip it. Except then you'd sort of be confirming my fears. Oh, well.

Anyway, I'm always afraid that people find me dreadfully boring. I guess it's sort of a combination of semi-childish egomania (I want people to pay attention to me!) and social anxiety. I might well have mentioned this in the past, but it's been on my mind again recently. I have the desire to be appreciated, and I don't always see it as being fulfilled. For instance, when I make a post and no one comments, I feel like it means no one was interested in it. I realize that there's a lapse of logic involved there; and there have been things that interested me, but to which I couldn't think of a reply. So I suppose it's a somewhat hypocritical attitude in that respect. It's just that, in the absence of positive (or even negative) feedback, I sometimes tend to assume the worst. That's not to say that I want people to make comments saying things like, "Wow, that post sure was interesting!" I think I might rather be boring than patronized. What I want is for what I post to spark conversation.

I'm inclined to think part of the problem is that I write about a lot of things that just don't interest anybody else. Take Oz books, for instance. There are a few people on my friends list who are interested in Oz, but even they haven't necessarily read the Bloodsucking Goatherds of Oz type of apocryphal material that I've been known to write about. But when I've finished reading something, I want to discuss it with other people, and that's not always possible. Even when it's something that a lot of my readers ARE interested in, that doesn't mean they'll care about what I have to say. Even though most of my LJ friends share my They Might Be Giants fandom, that doesn't mean they'll want to read my song-by-song breakdown of their latest album. A lot of people seem to be content to read a book or listen to an album, and not say anything about it beyond "that was cool" or "that sucked." I, on the other hand, want to analyze and discuss it to death. And even worse, I love to talk about media in ways that DON'T involve much thought, like making lists of my favorite song on each album, or all the Oz characters who ended up settling in the Emerald City, or whatever. I usually keep this stuff off my journal, yet I'm quite eager to do whatever list-intensive memes show up on my friends page.

So I guess that's that. Hopefully my next post will be less emoriffic. Look forward to stuff about song lyrics, a dream I had last night, and the possibility of moving. Or, you know, don't.

Comments

[shadarko.livejournal.com]

i kinda know how you feel. there are times I wonder why the heck no one said anything about a certain post about thing that happened. And then ther are other times when I'm kind of glad they didn't because I can't believe I just blogged something.

I for one like to read your play by plays of the new simpson episodes. I don't comment on them since I havent seen any episodes of the simpsons in nearly 2 years now thanks to my new work schedule. But your post about them keeps me sort of updated on what's going on in Springfield.

Is there really a bloodsucking goatherder of Oz book because if there isn't that just might have to be the next thing I write about. If there is, a little bit of me has just died inside.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

It always seems like people are more likely to comment on things that I think won't interest them, rather than the ones I think will generate a lot of comments. When I specifically ask for comments, I often don't get any.

I believe Bloodsucking Goatherds of Oz was a joke title that someone on the old Ozzy Digest thought up.

[travspence.livejournal.com]

This is an interesting post and I'm not being condescending.

I think it illustrates the different motives for blogging. You seem to want to use your blog as a tool to facilitate discussion. I use mine as a personal diary. I usually don't care if people respond to what I've posted because I'm writing it primarily for me. When I started my first online journal I had a raging internal debate about who my real audience was and why I was writing. Over time I've come to accept this my blog is for me, by me, of me.

Therefore I'm usually working under the assumption that you are writing these posts for yourself, to remember how you felt about a song or a book, or for future reference. I usually don't comment because I'm not familiar with the works you are writing about. Our tastes in books and music don't seem to overlap much so I do skim those posts (sorry).

Yet there are things that keep me reading and I've never wished that I hadn't friended you in the first place. As silly as it sounds, I am more in tune with your posts about driving and work and stuff like that because I think there is quite a bit of overlap in our anxiety pools. So, no, I don't think you're boring and I keep reading because we are weird in the same ways. :-)

And for what it's worth, I don't think you are being emo about this. I don't friend people who use their blogs in that way. I don't have the psychic energy for that.

[3x1minus1.livejournal.com]

>>You seem to want to use your blog as a tool to facilitate discussion. I use mine as a personal diary. I usually don't care if people respond to what I've posted because I'm writing it primarily for me.<<

that's a good point, too. when i'm posting something, it's usually just to get it off my mind/off my chest... what have you. to basically underscore or punctuate my feeling of "yeah!" or "no!" about whatever the content of the post is. whatever's on my mind. as if it would keep running in a loop in my head until i posted it. it's something that began way back with blogger, and posting like that is a hard habit to break.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

You seem to want to use your blog as a tool to facilitate discussion. I use mine as a personal diary.

I guess I use it for both, sort of. There are probably certain things that are more for me than anyone else. But I figure that, if it were JUST for me, I wouldn't bother putting it up on the Internet. I don't specifically write with other people in mind, but I do desire an audience. I want to be recognized, I suppose. Even when I just come up with things on my own, I wonder how other people might react to them.

I usually don't comment because I'm not familiar with the works you are writing about.

That's fine. I realize that, when making posts about things like that, only people who are familiar with the particular book, album, or whatever are likely to comment. I do also hope to stir up interest in these things for people who might not be aware of them, but if you know you wouldn't be interested, I can't say I have a problem with that.

[3x1minus1.livejournal.com]

hm. well i don't always feel the desire to discuss everything i listen to/watch/read/etc, but sometimes i do. i guess that's why i join communities, and talk about that kinda niched stuff over there? i typically assume no one reading my page has listened/watched/read it though, unless i know otherwise. that doesn't stop me from posting about it, but i really don't anticipate comments on stuff like that. i guess.

i know the feeling of not getting comments on posts, though. sometimes i update just to get something in my inbox that's not spam. heh.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I'm a member of a few communities, but there are quite a few things I want to discuss where there isn't a relevant community (or, at least, not one that I like enough to join). And sometimes even when there IS a community, I know there are other people on my friends list who share the interest but aren't members of the community, so I hope they'll get something out of it.

sometimes i update just to get something in my inbox that's not spam.

I hardly get any real e-mail nowadays other than LJ replies. Actually, I'm subscribed to some mailing lists under an account that I only check once a week, so I guess I'd get more mail if I were to change the addresses on those to my regular one. But it's usually only mildly interesting anyway. I hardly ever get personal e-mail.

Content versus form

[bec-87rb.livejournal.com]

I can think of an EZ way to make your blog more interesting. It is good form to write full well-constructed paragraphs with correct spelling, but if you write that way in the blog, it is visually too dense to read easily, and your readers are idiots, oftentimes.

Break it up more.

Leave more white space, and alternate the font size and other parameters to _increase ^visual diVERSity.

For what it's worth. XD

Re: Content versus form

[vovat.livejournal.com]

You mean like e. e. cummings or something? {g}

Nice icon, by the way. It's Flanstastic!

i swear i'm not a third grader, tho you wouldn't know it by reading this comment

[obsessical.livejournal.com]

I do read your posts a lot, but I rarely have any intelligent thought to offer back to you. I normally just digest it and go "that's interesting."

Oddly enough, you think people wouldn't read lists and what not, but I heart reading lists. But I'm simple-minded and easily amused. So who knows.

I also like that you said "emoriffic." that was AWESOME.

Re: i swear i'm not a third grader, tho you wouldn't know it by reading this comment

[arfies.livejournal.com]

Ditto. I read pretty much everything on my Friends page (including this), I just don't always reply to everything if I don't feel that I have anything worthwhile to contribute to the conversation. For example, I'll comment about political/social/occasionally Oz issues (sadly, I've only read three of the books and watch some of the rarer movie clips), but I don't really listen to much modern music like TMBG, so me commenting on that won't go very far.

Re: i swear i'm not a third grader, tho you wouldn't know it by reading this comment

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Fair enough. Which of the Oz books have you read, anyway?

Re: i swear i'm not a third grader, tho you wouldn't know it by reading this comment

[arfies.livejournal.com]

The first three.

Re: i swear i'm not a third grader, tho you wouldn't know it by reading this comment

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Well, I suppose that's a good place to start. {g} Did you enjoy them?

Re: i swear i'm not a third grader, tho you wouldn't know it by reading this comment

[arfies.livejournal.com]

Of course! "Ozma of Oz" is my favorite.

Re: i swear i'm not a third grader, tho you wouldn't know it by reading this comment

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd recommend reading the others, but I guess that pretty much goes without saying.

Re: i swear i'm not a third grader, tho you wouldn't know it by reading this comment

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, you think people wouldn't read lists and what not, but I heart reading lists.

That's cool. Usually when I'm listing things, I'm thinking, "Well, this is fun to do, but I'm sure it won't be interesting to read." I don't always find other people's lists interesting, but I do if they're about something I recognize, and they're done in moderation. That's actually one way I prefer LJ to other online forums. I've read newsgroups and Web-based bulletin boards where all of the "favorite song" lists or everybody's responses to a survey were in one thread, making it tedious to read. With the friends page, even if everyone DOES do the same meme, there's usually other stuff in between to break up the monotony. And I DO want to see other people's lists, just not all at once, you know?

[loz]

Nathan, I'm the exact same way as you. I'm intensely curious as to what other people have to say on the issues I want to discuss.

I decided a while ago that I wasn't going to mind if anyone commented on my posts, and I'm a lot happier now. I make the posts for me - something I would want to read in a year or so's time (unless it's a quick thank you or something). Suddenly I have people commenting out the wazoo. I say keep doing what you're doing. Your posts rock. They're the most detailed and thought-provoking ones on my friends list - so don't change that.

I always find your posts fascinating, even if I have no idea what you're talking about... and I think I may have committed the dreaded "that was an interesting post!" simply because I couldn't think of anything else to say, but wanted to respond somehow.

On a similar vein, I hate it when you reply to another person's friend's comment because you found their thread of discussion invigorating and they never respond - do you hate that too?

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I tend to think that, if someone's writing style is good enough, their posts can be interesting even if you have no idea what they're talking about. I don't pretend to be that good, mind you.

On a similar vein, I hate it when you reply to another person's friend's comment because you found their thread of discussion invigorating and they never respond - do you hate that too?

It's annoying, although I understand that not comment is going to garner responses, and a reply to a reply might be even less likely. Still, I get the idea that some people are less likely to reply to someone they don't know, even when the topic doesn't necessitate knowing the other person. I try not to be this way, personally. What also bugs me is when I ask someone a direct question and they don't reply. Yes, the questions sometimes do slip through the cracks, but I get the impression that some people just ignore them totally.

[rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com]

This is funny, because I was just having a sort of opposite discussion with a Friend. She restricted her lj to, like, her four closest Friends because she didn't like people reading her Diary who weren't her very closest friends and whatnot, and I said, that's funny, because I'm the very opposite, I write here because I WANT people to read it and I WANT them to comment, even when they disagree, and so forth-- and it really is a difference of use. I definitely use this for communication purposes-- sure, I rant and rave about things no one but myself cares about, but my general intent is to share myself with the world and keep up with other people I know who have one of these too. I figure if something is really PRIVATE, that's why I have a paper journal beside my bed. Maybe this is why I comment on your lj so much, and why you probably comment more on mine than anyone else does either. Because we use them with the same intent.

Oh yeah, and yours is definitely one of the most entertaining journals on my friends page. I just skim when I have no idea what you're talking about.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've always kind of thought that, if you only want a few people reading, you might as well forgo the Web and just send them e-mails. But hey, LJ allows for friends-only and private journals, so if that's what someone finds most convenient, that's their business. I really do have to question what some people choose to keep private, though. Most of what I write is the same kind of stuff I'd post to a newsgroup or Web forum, which are theoretically open to everybody. I can definitely see why people friends-lock certain entries, but others will lock posts that say things like, "I went shopping yesterday, and then out to eat." Gee, you wouldn't want the world at large to find out about THAT, would you? :P

[bethje.livejournal.com]

DO YOU FEEL VALIDATED NOW?!?!?!???????????/

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Yes, I suppose so. I can't guarantee I'll never feel that way again, though.

[revme.livejournal.com]

I like the TMBG-song-breakdown type posts! And I'd probably like the Oz stuff if I knew anything about Oz. (Though, y'know, if "Bloodsucking Goatherds Of Oz" existed, I'd probably have to get into it.)

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I like the TMBG-song-breakdown type posts!

Thanks. For some reason, I find this so much easier to do with TMBG than with any other band. I've tried to do song-by-song breakdowns on albums by other artists, but a lot of the song reviews just come out as "yeah, this one is pretty cool too." I do always find things easier to review when I have a point of reference, though, and I definitely do with TMBG. And with Simpsons episodes, for that matter.

There's really nothing in the Oz books approaching a bloodsucking goatherd. Now that I think about it, though, that title makes me wonder whether it's the goats or the herders who are doing the bloodsucking.

[k1cup.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel about not getting comments. Most of the time, I don't comment because I'm trying to be witty. I really have to work at it and most of the time, it doesn't come off. So, how's that for being self-absorbed, when one is concerned about how her comments appear?

Although I'm not into Oz, I'n quite willing to share a line by line discussion of any Jane Austen novel. Heh.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

So, how's that for being self-absorbed, when one is concerned about how her comments appear?

I guess I'm somewhat concerned about that as well. I do want to get replies to my comments, although I understand that not every comment I make is reply-worthy. On the other hand, it's only every once in a while when I'll actually stop myself from making a comment.