My tweets

• Mon, 12:44: Arnold Palmer's body is being preserved in a mixture of iced tea, lemonade, and embalming fluid.
• Mon, 21:10: Mexico is apparently the eighth wonder of the world. Never mind that only one of the original seven still exists. #debatenight
• Mon, 21:15: Trump, if you really care about Hillary's happiness, drop out. #debatenight
• Mon, 21:22: RT @KatyTurNBC: Trump on climate change in 2012 https://t.co/yICEQIbxJ1
• Mon, 21:32: I thought bubbles were pretty much universally considered cute. #debatenight
• Mon, 21:34: Trump should release his taxes, but it's not going to affect anything. His supporters already think only schmucks pay taxes. #debatenight
• Mon, 21:34: RT @michaelianblack: "I've been audited almost every year." Not a great reason to trust you, Donald.
• Mon, 21:37: Hillary, release all your deleted emails, especially the ones advertising penis enlargement products! #debatenight
• Mon, 21:40: Trump, you sayEVERYTHING in a bragadocious way. #debatenight
• Mon, 21:42: RT @thenoahkinsey: "I've met people who were stiffed by you, Donald." *points off stage* "HERE THEY ARE! COME ON DOWN!" *Price is Right mus…

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