It's Still Billy Joel to Me

[vovat]

I like Billy Joel's music, but the guy's attitude gets on my nerves. It's that whole tough-guy front that I complained about with Jay Leno. Why are you people so insecure that you need to act like that all the time? Afraid someone might think you're gay? Hey, I'm kind of surprised that Billy is willing to tour with Elton John, for fear of accusations of flamboyance by association.

I've been thinking of doing one of my dissections for a Billy Joel song, but I wasn't sure which one to go with. I considered "Captain Jack," but I couldn't think of that many jokes other than "huh huh, he said 'masturbate.'" So here's my look at the 1977 song "Only the Good Die Young," about a guy trying to convince a Catholic girl to have sex with him. I can agree with him in a sense, because while "no sex before marriage" might be a useful guideline for some, I really fail to see how a marriage license is the key to preventing sin. Isn't God usually portrayed as operating more subtly than that? Still, while I have nothing against premarital sex, I don't think that means you need to do it with the first schmo who expresses interest, which seems to be what this song is suggesting.

Come out, Virginia, don't let me wait
You Catholic girls start much too late

That's not entirely true. Some of them just get married young to people they hardly know.

Ah but sooner or later it comes down to fate
I might as well be the one

So the narrator is saying that this girl's fate is to have sex, so she might as well have it with him as anyone? What a crappy pick-up line! It's making "Did you fall from Heaven?" sound sensible. Why not argue that the ban of premarital sex dates back to a time when women were considered property? I'm sure it still wouldn't work, but at least it would sound less smug.

Well, they showed you a statue, told you to pray

Yeah, I know Catholic churches are full of statuary, especially when compared to other Christian houses of worship, but I'm still kind of amused by this line. Hey, Billy, are you sure she's a Catholic, and not a worshipper of Ba'al Hadad?

You might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd
We ain't too pretty, we ain't too proud

I've seen pictures of you, so I know you're not too pretty. You DO come across as awfully proud in this song, though.

We might be laughing a bit too loud
Oh, but that never hurt no one

Hurt? Maybe not. Annoyed the crap out of everyone in the vicinity? Most likely. They're probably those obnoxiously noisy teenagers sitting the next table over at a restaurant.

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun

I'd say that depends on what the sin is, wouldn't you?

Said your mother told you all that I could give you was a reputation

Nah, he could probably also give you an STD.

The way this song comes across, it sounds more and more like she's rejecting this guy because he's a jerk, and just using the Catholic thing as an excuse. But maybe that was intentional. I don't know.

Anyway, here's the source of the title (WARNING: not a real video, just various old Weird Al pictures and clips):

Watch on YouTube

This was one of Weird Al's early songs, before he started getting permission for his parodies. I've heard that Billy didn't like it, but I don't know for sure. While relatively mean as far as Al goes (it's one of his few parodies that directly mocks the original song, like "This Song's Just Six Words Long" and "Smells Like Nirvana"), I don't think it's really that harsh. I guess it's a bit outdated now, though. It would be years before Al released an officially sanctioned Billy Joel parody, "Ode to a Superhero" (to the tune of "Piano Man") in 2003. I've also heard tell of something called "A Matter of Crust" that he would occasionally play in live medleys, but have never heard the song itself.

And while we're on the subject of Al, here's his interview with Billy:

Watch on YouTube

Comments

[burningofroissy.livejournal.com]

This post made me laugh, especially the picture of Billy Joel going 8{O}

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Should I rock the bald head/facial hair look when I get to be closer to Billy's age? :P

[burningofroissy.livejournal.com]

I have seen that done with some success. As long as you don't go around with enormous bags under your eyes going 8{O} you should be just fine.

Also

[burningofroissy.livejournal.com]

[suegypt.livejournal.com]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[vovat.livejournal.com]

http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/

[bethje.livejournal.com]

Explain Movin' Out to me.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

The song or the musical? Doesn't matter, because I can't really explain either. Something about how Billy doesn't like working overtime.

[suegypt.livejournal.com]

My Gawd! That man is Butt Uggleh

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Hey, at least we can say he's one pop star who didn't get by on his looks! {g}

[rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com]

I love Billy Joel quite a big lot, but this song I actually harbor a deep personal hatred for that even has nothing to do with what it's actually about (although you'd think, as a Catholic girl who started... well, probably late in HIS opinion, I ought to be slightly offended). No, see, when my sister died young, I listened to this song and my six-year-old logic twisted the refrain around and gave me some weird sort of Survivor's Guilt: "Well, if I'M still alive, I must have been NOT GOOD ENOUGH." And that sentiment ingrained itself so deeply into my head that even now when I can see the logical fallacy in it, IT'S TOO LATE. I know it's as illogical to blame a lifetime of psychological problems on a silly pop song about something else entirely as it is to make the leap in logic I made in the first place, but I still hold it against that song!

only the good, and the bad, and the, well, everybody....

[suegypt.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's so sad. But, you know, I always had that twisted take on the phrase myself, though I didn't suffer that kind of loss. It didn't have anything to do with BJ, either, but of course the song reinforced the stupidity of the phrase.

Re: only the good, and the bad, and the, well, everybody....

[vovat.livejournal.com]

The phrase really doesn't make a whole lot of sense, not only for the reasons rockinlibrarian mentions, but because plenty of bad people also die young. I believe its original source is the ancient Greek playwright Menander, who said, "Whom the gods love die young." I'm sure it wasn't any more true then than it is now. On the other hand, Menander didn't specify that the people the gods loved had to be good.

Re: only the good, and the bad, and the, well, everybody....

[suegypt.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think the reason it's so widely adopted as a "sage" saying is that people who have lost a loved one or beloved public figure tend to soothe the ache of separation by saying "he was too good for this world," or "God wanted her to come live with Him." The fear of death prompts some to try to believe the Other Side is a better place, so that, when death is near, one won't fear it as much, because "I'll get to see (fill in the blank) again."

plenty of bad people also die young

Umm hmm. Many of them not young enough.

Re: only the good, and the bad, and the, well, everybody....

[vovat.livejournal.com]

While I can understand the desire for the afterlife to be a better place, it still doesn't really work out to say that God takes His favorites at a younger age. If that's the case, why are they born in the first place, instead of just starting out in Heaven?

Re: only the good, and the bad, and the, well, everybody....

[suegypt.livejournal.com]

Plus, by this concept, it really wouldn't bother God at all about people who were murdered or "babies" who were aborted, because Hey, He really just wants them with him in the first place!

Of course, the thing about this line of reasoning that really always bothered my catholic heart was the idea that, if only the good die young, then the longer you stay on the earth, the less worthy you are of God's rescue from this hellhole he constructed, ostensibly, to punish us all. Nope. you haven't suffered enough! Live another 20 years, and have a few more diseases! All kidding aside, maybe this explains Dick Cheney...

Re: only the good, and the bad, and the, well, everybody....

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Cheney is such a supreme force of evil that even God can't stop him. What do you think that heart attack was about?