One ring to rule them all, one ring to preserve virginity

[vovat]

bethje was looking at the Jonas Brothers' website for some reason, and we were both amused by the comments on there. First of all, every comment has horribly bad spelling and grammar. Granted, English isn't the first language of some of the people commenting, but I don't think that can be a valid excuse for everybody. I try not to be as much of a syntax stickler as I used to be, but it's one thing when you're ignorant of the proper form, and another when you're misspelling words that kindergarteners know how to spell. And then you'll get people saying how awesome it is that these guys wear purity rings. That's a big trend nowadays, apparently. Kids get these magic rings that generate force fields, preventing their private parts from touching anyone else's until a preacher has said it's okay. It's based on a principle created by Merlin, I think.

What? People who wear these purity rings are often actually MORE likely to have premarital sex? And Merlin was known to use his magic to get people laid? Well, so much for that idea! But the rings are still popular, and they signify a promise to God, who presumably only holds people to promises if they wear relevant jewelry. I know this is a soapbox topic of mine, but why is it so common for people to associate purity with virginity? If I were going to say a person was "pure" (not that I would), it would probably be a question of attitude and behavior, not sexual experience. And I'm still not sure why sex suddenly becomes pure after you get married, but that's another rant that I've already gone off on several times. But anyway, it's not too surprising that purity rings don't work when they seem to be an aphrodisiac for teenagers who can't spell.

What I find even more ridiculous, however, is when these people insist that it takes strength to NOT have sex. On behalf of all socially awkward guys for whom the prospect of merely holding a girl's hand increases the heart rate considerably more rapidly than being held at gunpoint, I have to say that sounds kind of backwards.

Comments

[burningofroissy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, those comments are really something. I could feel myself losing IQ points as I read.

What? People who wear these purity rings are often actually MORE likely to have premarital sex?

I need to find out where I can buy these rings. Do they sell them in bulk?

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you can get them at any Fundamentalist Supply Store, right in between the switches for kids and the Satan-B-Gone spray.

[kevenn.livejournal.com]

You are so awesome. :)

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[k1cup.livejournal.com]

every comment has horribly bad spelling and grammar.

LOL. IMHO U R pointing out a worrisome trend. :)

[rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com]

I'm willing to bet most of the people commenting on the Jonas Brothers site are excitable preteen fangirls, which accounts for the spelling and grammar (unfortunately. I'm sure I would have done better as a preteen, but then I wasn't the sort to be squeeing on the websites of Hawt Famous People, if they had HAD websites back then, in the first place). On the other hand, I WAS the sort who would have found the Purity Ring thing, uh, reassuring I guess is the best word. I was very naive and idealistic about romance until about halfway through college when I gave up on that old useless idealism, and it definitely would have been a, excuse the phrase, turn-on to think that the Wonderful Ideal I dreamed about even-though-in-the-back-of-my-head-I-knew-I-had-no-chance-of-even-meeting-him would not Pressure Me Into Anything should he ever express his eternal devotion to me, and, for that matter, was not Carrying On with other less worthy girls before then in the meanwhile. Sure that may not actually be the case, but that's beside the point! We're talking idealistic overly-romantic teenage girls here!

Well, it takes strength not to have sex when you have the opportunity to and really want it. It doesn't take much strength when you simply never date anybody until you're grown up.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I'm willing to bet most of the people commenting on the Jonas Brothers site are excitable preteen fangirls, which accounts for the spelling and grammar

I know, but it still seems a bit over the top. But then, I guess spelling always came more or less naturally to me, so I suppose I wasn't a typical preteen in that respect.

[cog1201.livejournal.com]

purity rings, I laugh! You know what kept my pants zipped up through all of high school? Being forced by my science teachers in 6th, 8th and 10th grade to look at graphic photos of herpes and clamidia, etc. Not to mention a near constant reminder that I could get AIDS and die. Oh and don't forget my mother's cautionary tale of how my aunt's husband gave her ghonorrea and never told her until it had eaten away all of her internal girl parts and she nearly died. (though this usually ended with a rant about how all men are lying scum bags who can't be trusted). At the time I figured that sex was probably not good enough to die for, which given the sexual prowess of the average high school boy, I am positive that I made the right decision.

Who needs a promise ring when you have good old fashion fear?

[vovat.livejournal.com]

The problem with that is that so many people seem to be the type who think bad things will never happen to them. I was always kind of the opposite, in that I feared pretty much EVERY bad thing that people said could happen. I mean, I heard that some people die from anesthesia, and I was terrified that it would happen to me.

[cog1201.livejournal.com]

lol me too, I guess I always just thought I was sort of unlucky and actually I sort of am, especially in the romance department.

[colbyucb.livejournal.com]

And I'm still not sure why sex suddenly becomes pure after you get married, but that's another rant that I've already gone off on several times.

Future Christian warriors man.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

They can't be produced out of wedlock, then?

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

Look, I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, I treat women with respect, and I'm kind to old people and animals -- don't take away my sex, people.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Actually, if you promise not to have sex UNTIL you're married, does that mean you can have sex with anyone you want afterwards? Oh, wait. There's that whole anti-adultery commandment, isn't there?

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

yep, the anti-adultery thing is pretty clear. And I'm for that, by the way -- what's the point of getting married if you're going to fool around on the side, anyway? If someone wants to have sex with lots of people, don't get married -- a perfectly valid choice, these days. Or, you could be a Morman, or sign up with some other belief that allows for more than two. Me, I'm a one woman man type of guy.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

And I'm for that, by the way -- what's the point of getting married if you're going to fool around on the side, anyway?

Tax and insurance purposes?

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

Eh -- guess I'm a romantic at heart; to me that's no reason to get married. Or, on the more jaded side of it, that's no reason to get fitted with a ball and chain for the rest of your life.

[3x1minus1.livejournal.com]

"But anyway, it's not too surprising that purity rings don't work when they seem to be an aphrodisiac for teenagers who can't spell."

ahahaa. i lol'd.


"What I find even more ridiculous, however, is when these people insist that it takes strength to NOT have sex. On behalf of all socially awkward guys for whom the prospect of merely holding a girl's hand increases the heart rate considerably more rapidly than being held at gunpoint, I have to say that sounds kind of backwards."

ahh, you know those jonas boys. if not for the rings, they'd be off rapin' everyone.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Not if the girls all wear veils! (http://kafirgirl.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/forcefield.jpg?w=275&h=400)

I can just imagine a Jonas Brother getting ready to have sex with some fangirl, then looking at his hand and saying, "Oh, right! I promised God I wouldn't!"