Ill Met by Twilight

[vovat]

I have never read the Twilight books or seen the movie, and I can't say I intend to. Even the people I know who like the books say they're not very well-written, and I've never been much for teen vampire stories anyway. And I haven't been particularly swayed from what I've heard about them, which is basically the following:

• The author has a very similar name to someone I know, and is a Mormon.
  
• The series has been described as "abstinence porn," because the characters apparently get off on NOT getting off.
  
• When the main characters finally DO have sex (after getting married, of course, because we all know that vampires are strict adherents to twentieth-century Christian mores), the vampire dude breaks the headboard and gives the girl bruises, which she tries to hide.
  
• There's an ongoing theme of women wanting to be housewives, raise kids, and have men to protect them.
  
• The vampires sparkle, play baseball (well, hey, it is a sport that involves...bats), and have a feud with werewolves. (You know, Dracula could turn into a wolf, so was he both? Or does someone only count as a werewolf if the transformations are involuntary?) I don't know anything about Meyer's take on werewolves. Maybe they change color in water and play cricket.
  
• The main vampire, Edward, keeps going to high school over and over again. Sheesh, get your GED already, Mr. Bloodsucker!
  

And since I'm posting, I might as well describe some of the dreams I had the night before last. In one, I was back working at the academic library where I did cataloging a few years ago, but I can't remember what I was rehired to do. Then there was another one where I went to some office building to find a realtor, and called the office while in the elevator, but the girl who answered the phone was really nervous and refused to give me the number for the direct line. After I'd spoken to the real estate agent, I told her I'd come back with bethje, and tried to leave. The only problem is that the elevator wasn't where I remembered it being, and there was a movie theater in its place. I saw an escalator, but couldn't figure out how to reach it. I ended up leaving through an emergency exit, which had a ramp down to the bottom of the building for ambulances to use. (I'm not sure where they were coming from, though, since it isn't like they were in the building itself.) I realized I'd forgotten something, but I couldn't get back in that same way, because of the heavy traffic.

Comments

[colbyucb.livejournal.com]

Man, isn't once through high school enough for anyone? Now I'm wondering about the logistics of that, what records does he transfer to the new schools? I didn't think you could just waltz into a new school and sign up without some sort of prior education records, or... something... you know, to show that you actually passed the prior grades. Whatever, I have no idea what I'm talking about with that.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

I have to say that, if I had to relive any one part of my life over and over again, high school would be just about my LAST choice (although my VERY last choice would probably be junior high).

[kevenn.livejournal.com]

"I have never read the Twilight books or seen the movie, and I can't say I intend to."

Ditto.

The author being Mormon was a big clue that they'd be crap. My whole family is Mormon and they loose their shit like those women on an Oprah's Favorite Things episode over Twilight. That's enough to tell me it's crap - along with the fact that the commercials for the movie looked like teen angst crap. You other points here show my impressions were 100% correct.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Someone who actually saw the movie (I believe it was not_glimmer) said that the acting was about on the level of Sci-Fi Channel original programming, and the one trailer I saw seems to bear that out. It really didn't look like a high-budget movie either, although I'm sure it was. Very B-movie-looking, from what I saw.

[kristenjarrod.livejournal.com]

My college has Twilight fever. It's like, my elementary school circa 1991 with the Babysitters Club books.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

So if someone were to write books about babysitting vampires, would they be the best sellers ever? Maybe I should jump on that!

[kristenjarrod.livejournal.com]

You should.

[newwwoz.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

Mormon? Mormon vampires? Mormons, the same people who broke up a little family I knew consisting of just a single mother, her teen daughter, and her young son by refusing to let the mother see her daughter, claiming she was their daughter now? I try not to hate, but I have no love for someone who does that in the name of God.

I had my fill of "Twilight" talk on comments for a video I made for YouTube (a Narnia music video for "Lion" by Rebecca St. James), with people saying the song fit "Twilight" instead of Narnia. (I replied several times, "the song was written for a Narnia CD," before turning off comments, the first time I ever did that. There were some really rude people...)

"Twilight" can just go drive a stake in it's heart. "Twilight" can expose itself to direct sunlight. Oh, and it can also take a big flying leap into a deep lake with cement boots on, and may it never rise again.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

A lake of holy water, by any chance?

[newwwoz.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

That might work... And if there's some crucifixes to get impaled on down there, too...

[billiedoll.livejournal.com]

From what I had heard of Twilight, my impression was of "Anne Rice scrubbed clean by Disney", but the way people are talking about the sexual politics in the story, it sounds very like "Anne Rice if she was a Mormon".

I will go on record saying that I like Orson Scott Card and I know he's Mormon, but I will also say that if you look at how his stories view sexuality, it's probably similar to what we see in "Twilight".

[graycardinal]

I have not read the Twilight books (nor seen the movie). That said:

On one hand, I'm awfully wary of judging books I haven't read based on the author's professed religious beliefs. There are Orson Scott Card books I quite like, and others of his novels that I find ill-crafted (Card is also a Mormon); theological background is not necessarily a reliable indicator of literary entertainment value.

On the other hand, it's interesting to compare the general consensus of my extended genre network with respect to J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter books with its consensus on the Twilight series. I ought to mention here that parts of that network extend their tendrils into fairly respectable pro-level writing circles.

WRT Rowling, the critical assessments are all over the map -- a few folks contend she's an extremely capable writer, many say her craft is average to mediocre, and some argue that she's out-and-out awful. But even her detractors generally admit that she does some things very, very well, and that the Potter books as a whole are broadly readable and capable of being enjoyed by a very diverse readership (that is, you don't have to be a youngster to appreciate them).

WRT Meyer, I've heard almost no one argue that she's a particularly good writer on a technical level -- the assessments range from "okay" to "awful". And there's a very strong consensus that while the Twilight books do a superior job of attracting and holding the interest of teen/tween-female readers, they are wildly unlikely to have much appeal to readers outside Meyer's target demographic.

Now, based on Meyer's sales, she's getting some level of readership outside the YA loop -- but my guess is that it's coming almost entirely from the ranks of romance readers, rather than SF/fantasy fans. There's overlap between the two, as evidenced by the current wave of paranormal romance flooding the market, but Meyer is not garnering much interest from the genre-fantasy crowd as far I can tell.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

There are Orson Scott Card books I quite like, and others of his novels that I find ill-crafted (Card is also a Mormon); theological background is not necessarily a reliable indicator of literary entertainment value.

I've never read anything by Card, but I've heard he's seriously homophobic, which bothers me. But then, if I avoided reading any author who had beliefs I found offensive, it would seriously limit my reading pool, and I'm pretty sure there are other people whose opinions I respect who like Card.

As for Rowling, I think she's a GOOD writer, in that she's engaging and doesn't make me stop reading and say, "Gee, THAT was badly written!" But she's also not a particularly memorable writer, as evidenced by the fact that I can't remember that many exact passages from the texts of the Potter books.

Now, based on Meyer's sales, she's getting some level of readership outside the YA loop -- but my guess is that it's coming almost entirely from the ranks of romance readers, rather than SF/fantasy fans.

While I'm not a big vampire fan myself, I have to wonder whether people who are object to the Twilight books because they break so many of the generally understood rules pertaining to vampires (not to mention that Meyer apparently breaks her OWN rules, at least according to Amazon reviewers).

[rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com]

Heh heh heh, oh, Twilight! --Of course you expect your friendly (virtual) neighborhood YA Librarian to jump in on this discussion! I feel bad that none of your commenters have read the books either, rendering much actual DISCUSSION on the topic moot! But not even I can say I've read them-- I thought about it, wondering if I SHOULD by virtue of my job, but however much my patrons love them, they're still long vampire romances, and generally I'm into neither vampires* NOR romances and I have a huge list of books I actually WANT to read so that puts LONG vampire romances right out. So I decided as long as I knew enough about the books to converse knowledgeably on the subject I could pass okay, and so far this has done me just fine. I know who all the characters are and can usually recognize a reference, and most importantly I can actually name good titles to suggest to fans who want to read more like that. (*Yes, as a fantasy fan, I do like a lot of books that include vampire characters --in fact my favorite character in a recent YA fantasy trilogy-in-progress that-I-will-not-mention-by-name-because-I'm-about-to-say-a-spoiler got turned into a vampire, which made me sad since I don't like vampires though I suppose it's better than him dying entirely which is what would have happened otherwise, but he's still my favorite character; but in general vampires are probably my least favorite whaddyacallit, mythological creature. They just don't interest or appeal to me).

The appeal of the books primarily seems to be the Wish-Fulfillment aspect-- the main character is this awkward and ordinary girl and somehow she manages to sweep this gorgeous and powerful (not to mention effectively immortal, which is important because he could have had ANY GIRL THROUGHOUT THE CENTURIES) guy off his feet. So all the young girls (and quite a few adult women as well) SIGH!!!!!!!!!! That's it. It's much easier to understand if you are a teenage girl. Well, a typical teenage girl I suppose-- as someone who prefers her romances to be based more on the actual interaction of realistic and often imperfect character traits, I would have gone Eh. Give me Austen over the Brontes any day for my classic romance books.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

not to mention effectively immortal, which is important because he could have had ANY GIRL THROUGHOUT THE CENTURIES

I wonder if it's ever stated that he HASN'T been with other girls before. Seems kind of weird that he'd suddenly be interested in human romance after however long he's lived (which I'm led to understand is more in the vicinity of eighty years than eight hundred, but still).

[rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com]

No, I'm pretty sure it's stated that he hasn't, that it's such an awkward-to-impossible thing to have a vampire/human relationship that he's just NEVER had to deal with it before. Yes, that seems kind of weird, but that's why it's wish-fulfillment romance rather than logical-relationship romance!

[revme.livejournal.com]

....what is the deal with the headboard/bruises? Is it just really rough sex, like, vampirebdsm, or do vampires just have different sex than humans which ends up being scary and violent, or is it just that they've waited so long to have sex dude just couldn't wait to get his bone on?

HYPERCOLORWEREWOLF!

Actually I know water wasn't hypercolor it was heat, but still.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Apparently vampire sex is just violent in general. According to an Amazon reviewer, though, Meyer originally said vampires were sterile and had no blood of their own, which would make sex pretty difficult.

[colleenanne.livejournal.com]

Ok, I'll admit it. I've read the books.
1) They have the money to have people fabricate educational records, etc. for them.
2) they're not really werewolves, their shapeshifters that happen to take on the shape of wolves.
3) Their sex is violent because he's a vampire and has superhuman strength. Her strength is only regular-human.

I really liked the books. Sure, they were mindless, but overall, they were fun.

THERE! I'll stand as a proud Twilight reader!

*hides under the desk in shame*

[colleenanne.livejournal.com]

second their = they're.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

1) Okay, that explains HOW he could keep going to high school over and over again, but not why he'd WANT to.
2) Then I guess Dracula COULD be considered a member of both groups, couldn't he?
3) One review that I read (well, actually, Beth read it) said that vampires didn't have blood of their own, so regardless of his strength, how would he have managed to get an erection?

[billiedoll.livejournal.com]

He may not have his own blood, but his does consume the blood of others. The disturbing thought is that, since he's supposed to be a nice vampire and consume animal blood, he's engorging his penis with gerbil blood.