I think I write a lot better than I talk. Even when I have what I want to say planned out ahead of time (which I did for both this series of posts and the rant about radio commercials), I end up sounding really awkward and forgetting the points I was trying to make. Maybe I should invest in a teleprompter, or at least some note cards.
And, what is this thing you have with Chick tracts? C'mon, you have a little crush on him, don't you?
Okay, you've figured it out. My secret desire is to have threesome with him and Bill O'Reilly.
It was a good Republican body - pale, flabby, riddled with phlebitis. *scrubs eyes* Wow, that picture is still there. Y'know, you'd have a better shot at an O'Reilly-Colbert threesome; at least you know Stephen is okay with the idea?
God I know. I once saw an B&D web site for evangelical Christians. I wish it were still viewable, because you'd have laughed yourself out of your chair. They finally had to make it non-public because they got so much grief.
I was wondering recently whether there's such a thing as Christian porn, or whether that would be too much of a violation of Matthew 5:27-28. Of course, I believe that comes shortly after a passage saying that Christians aren't allowed to divorce, which many of them ignore.
I suppose I don't need to mention the numerous ultra-right-wing fundamentalists who insist homosexuality is a sin, but then get caught in scandals involving kinky gay sex, do I?
It's part of God's plan for better sex - people always thirst after what is most forbidden to them. Forbid sex, and you get more desire for it. Forbid kinky gay sex, hello fur-lined restraints and automated anal plugs.
I bet there are some of them that get serious thrills from pretending they are Satanists exactly because it is the highest level of forbidden.
Y'know, forbidding brotherly love and human kindness might be the way to go. I wonder if Satanists sneak out for their jollies to take communion or mass?
I enjoyed the live commentary of the tract this time! Well, I tend to always enjoy when you make fun of these, but this was even better. I could go for a dino-burger... or dragon-burger. Whichever is correct. I'm fairly surprised the dinosaurs didn't become extinct because of their sins (or because of reading Harry Potter). And you're right, if they died for a stupid reason like lack of air, why not a comet?
I wonder what dinosaur or dragon meat would taste like. I have to imagine it would be rather tough. Fred Flintstone sure seemed to enjoy it, though.
I'm fairly surprised the dinosaurs didn't become extinct because of their sins (or because of reading Harry Potter).
Actually, they died because they smoked cigarettes. I saw it in a Far Side comic.
According to Chick, it seems like dinosaurs died out because of human sin, which hardly seems fair to the dinosaurs! But then, under the Creationist belief that all animals were herbivores before the Fall, they really suffered a lot more than mankind did (you know, having to hunt or be hunted, and all that), and they didn't even eat any forbidden fruit.
And you're right, if they died for a stupid reason like lack of air, why not a comet?
Because the Bible doesn't mention comets!
Oh, wait. It doesn't mention lack of air, either. Or dinosaurs, for that matter.
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2007-10-18 05:10 pm (UTC)And, what is this thing you have with Chick tracts? C'mon, you have a little crush on him, don't you? It's okay, you can tell us. ;)
no subject
Date: 2007-10-18 06:05 pm (UTC)And, what is this thing you have with Chick tracts? C'mon, you have a little crush on him, don't you?
Okay, you've figured it out. My secret desire is to have threesome with him and Bill O'Reilly.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-18 06:06 pm (UTC)Have that threesome, go ahead
Date: 2007-10-18 08:30 pm (UTC)It was a good Republican body - pale, flabby, riddled with phlebitis. *scrubs eyes* Wow, that picture is still there. Y'know, you'd have a better shot at an O'Reilly-Colbert threesome; at least you know Stephen is okay with the idea?
Oh man, now I am seeing Colbert naked. o.O
Re: Have that threesome, go ahead
Date: 2007-10-19 11:15 am (UTC)For what it's worth, Stephen Colbert and I each have a bent ear.
Re: Have that threesome, go ahead
Date: 2007-10-19 12:14 pm (UTC)Hey, who knows what Chick is into?
God I know. I once saw an B&D web site for evangelical Christians. I wish it were still viewable, because you'd have laughed yourself out of your chair. They finally had to make it non-public because they got so much grief.
Re: Have that threesome, go ahead
Date: 2007-10-19 03:45 pm (UTC)I suppose I don't need to mention the numerous ultra-right-wing fundamentalists who insist homosexuality is a sin, but then get caught in scandals involving kinky gay sex, do I?
Re: Have that threesome, go ahead
Date: 2007-10-19 08:22 pm (UTC)I bet there are some of them that get serious thrills from pretending they are Satanists exactly because it is the highest level of forbidden.
Y'know, forbidding brotherly love and human kindness might be the way to go. I wonder if Satanists sneak out for their jollies to take communion or mass?
Re: Have that threesome, go ahead
Date: 2007-10-21 12:39 am (UTC)I don't think Satanism forbids people from doing these things if they want to, so it's not exactly the same thing. But hey, maybe they do!
no subject
Date: 2007-10-19 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-21 12:44 am (UTC)I'm fairly surprised the dinosaurs didn't become extinct because of their sins (or because of reading Harry Potter).
Actually, they died because they smoked cigarettes. I saw it in a Far Side comic.
According to Chick, it seems like dinosaurs died out because of human sin, which hardly seems fair to the dinosaurs! But then, under the Creationist belief that all animals were herbivores before the Fall, they really suffered a lot more than mankind did (you know, having to hunt or be hunted, and all that), and they didn't even eat any forbidden fruit.
And you're right, if they died for a stupid reason like lack of air, why not a comet?
Because the Bible doesn't mention comets!
Oh, wait. It doesn't mention lack of air, either. Or dinosaurs, for that matter.