My tweets

• Sun, 17:09: RT @Disalmanac: Today in 1914, Dr. Jonas Salk was born. He developed the polio vaccine; if Jenny McCarthy had her way, we'd all be limpi ...
• Sun, 17:12: #IWishMyCarHad a filter to protect me from promoted trending topics.
• Sun, 18:12: They're playing Christmas music at this Friendly's. Respect the calendar, people!
• Sun, 18:14: I'm kind of sick of Christmas, anyway. I can't afford presents.
• Sun, 18:27: What's Dr. Pepper's doctorate actually in?
• Sun, 18:30: RT @drewtoothpaste: I'm an undecided voter. I also can't decide between ice cream and having all my rights taken away for dessert.
• Sun, 20:51: Oh, Mickey, You're So Fine http://t.co/6HNaPt6W
• Sun, 21:19: I've created a book where you look for apples, celery, walnuts, and mayo. I'm calling it "Where's Waldorf?"
• Sun, 21:31: I'm surprised Freddy Krueger never made a "no glove, no love" joke.
• Mon, 09:11: RT @TeaPartyCat: Mitt Romney: "Can we afford 4 more years of hurricanes hitting this country? No. When I'm president, I'll outlaw hurric ...