A Match Made in Cyberspace

[vovat]

I came across this New York Times bit about how people are using social media to find dates, and it really doesn't seem like anything new to me. I actually met bethje back in 1999 on an e-mail list dedicated to They Might Be Giants. In fact, it was even more obscure than that, because it wasn't the main TMBG mailing list, but an offshoot created for off-topic conversation. My friend Veronica told me that she met her husband on Tumblr. The article makes of a point of how "[w]hile profiles on dating sites are often carefully contrived, people tend to let more of their individuality and personalities come through casual interactions on Twitter and Instagram." I think it really depends on the kind of person you are, though. I'm not really one to talk on dating issues, because I've only ever dated one person. Still, I couldn't imagine dating someone with whom I wasn't already somewhat friendly, and who doesn't share some of my interests. Maybe this relates to the Asperger's/geekiness thing, though; my interests are such a major part of who I am, which might not be true for everybody. I also can't say I ever looked for dates. I occasionally thought it would be nice to have a girlfriend, but the dating process sounded rather trying, and I figured no one was interested anyway. When Beth expressed interest in me, I had no idea what to do with that, and in retrospect I think I did all the wrong things. In some ways, it would have been nice if at least one of us HAD dated other people in the past. Even so, it seems like I'm totally clueless on matters that other people figure out on their own. But anyway, my main point is that I feel that a relationship is primarily a friendship, yet other people have long-lasting relationships where they don't really seem to be friends at all. Maybe these people fare better on dating sites and the like. I don't know.

By the way, I kind of miss topic-specific e-mail lists and newsgroups. Granted, if they still existed I'd probably be even farther behind on my Internet reading than I already am. Still, it just doesn't seem like there's anything of the same sort these days. People will make groups about topics on Facebook, but the interface just doesn't work as well for that kind of discussion. Where do intellectuals meet with other intellectuals to speak another language, by which I mean the language of geekdom?

The other day, Beth and I went to visit therealtavie. We met her cat Neelix, who likes to grab people's hands and lick them, as well as roll around on the floor.

She's not a cuddler, though. Neither is our Reagan. Anyway, we went out to eat at a diner where I had spaghetti, which I guess is kind of weird. Often I'll get an omelette at a diner, but I didn't feel like it then. The spaghetti was good, but the meatballs not so much. Oh, well. When we were waiting for the bus, some people from Georgia told us about how they drove up to see some Yankees games. And there was a guy on the bus who reminded me of a gay David Lowery. He kind of kind of the same look and accent, I guess. And that's about it, really.

Comments

[onib.livejournal.com]

I remember getting to know you on the TMBG usenet group. :) Of course, I met my wife years before by telneting into the ISCA BBS system (when the Internet was just text...and we *liked* it). I miss the Usenet as well. I was bummed when Comcast stopped serving Usenet data, and I had to go through other providers (it hardly mattered by that point since mosts of the posts were robotic spam). It seems like the specificity it provided should be something easily replaceable by the modern Internet, but there's nothing that quite fills its shoes.

[slfcllednowhere.livejournal.com]

Yeh, I very much miss newsgroups and mailing lists too. I know everyone is just doing things like Facebook and Tumblr these days, but like you said, they aren't built for actual discussions at all. Plus there's less of a way to meet new people there. I actually was sticking it out in the TMBG newsgroup for a long time, but there was just no one posting at all but me basically, and eventually I gave up.