American Idolatry
May. 26th, 2011 09:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vovatI've largely given up on watching American Idol, but ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bethje still does, so I've seen it occasionally this season. The buzz was that this would be the last season, but it's apparently actually getting good ratings. I guess people like to see Steven Tyler as a babbling old geezer (or a bog witch, as Richard Lawson from Defamer puts it). Then we have Jennifer Lopez, whose stint on this show has been a boon to her career, to the extent that she was ranked most beautiful woman in the world by We're Ten Years Behind the Times Magazine. I guess I can't deny she's attractive, although I feel guilty about it, because she strikes me as such an entitled bitch. I remember when "Jenny from the Block" was popular, and someone (I think it might have been not_glimmer informed me that she was actually from, like, the most affluent neighborhood in the Bronx. [1] Still, she has a nice ass, and I'm not even an ass man (despite all the people telling me, "You're an ass, man"). [2] Strangely, she was essentially the "nice" (read "patronizing") judge for this season. As for the contestants, they've bumped the age down to fifteen, when I thought even allowing minors at all was a bad idea. And what's with all the religious conservatism among the contestants? Beth informed me that the kid who won said he felt uncomfortable and had to kiss his crucifix or something when Lady Gaga touched his shoulders. Then there was that other girl who refused to sing the word "evil," but had no problem singing a duet with Carrie Underwood about smashing up some guy's car. Just good old wholesome hypocritical Americans, huh? They're young, though, so I blame their upbringing.
I did see the finalé was this season, which is generally worth watching just to see the bizarre assortment of guest stars. "We just heard from Judas Priest, and now here's Tony Bennett, and after him the surviving members of TLC!" Do they just put the names of every musician willing to do the show in a hat and pull some out at random? I kind of have to suspect none of the contestants chose Tony, for instance, considering that these are people who claimed not to be familiar with the cotton-picking BEATLES. Come on, maybe you don't know "You Know My Name, Look Up the Number," but you must know "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," right? Sheesh, I remember when the teacher played "Octopus's Garden" for us in first grade music class. If your dream is to be a musician, don't you think you should do some research first? Mind you, my own taste in music is all over the map in terms of when it came out. I've heard so many references to how we're all supposed to think music peaked when we were in high school, but I think back to the mid-nineties when I graduated, and I remember most of the popular music being pretty dismal. I mean, this was when the Dave Matthews Band was growing in popularity. And as cloying as "Party in the USA" is, at least Miley Cyrus was only, like, seventeen when she recorded it. Back in 1993 or so, Sheryl Crow sang basically the same song while in her thirties. Also, what was up with grunge, huh? I guess I don't totally hate the style, because I like the Pixies, and they're sometimes said to have pioneered it. But then, they sang about Bible characters, surrealist films, and alien visitation, which speaks to me a lot more than teen angst. Not that I didn't have angst as a teenager (hey, I still do NOW), but it always seemed like a different kind than the growling garage bands had. Anyway, getting back to the main topic, it comes across as kind of sad (although great for the producers, I'm sure) when someone claims that a previous contestant on the show is their musical role model. But then, I tend to separate the show from the actual world of music. I realize that the intention of the show is for the ailing music industry to shove some more family-friendly pop garbage down our throats, but to me it kind of exists in isolation. I'll root for my favorites during the season, but afterwards I largely forget about them, except to occasionally make a comment like, "That Sanjaya was something else, wasn't he?" Okay, I guess Kelly Clarkson has paid her dues enough for me to take her seriously as a musician, but no matter how many millions of records Carrie Underwood sells, I still think of her being in a stupid bit with Ryan Seacrest where she brings her telescope to look for "stars" in Hollywood. You know, because she's a naive country bumpkin from Oklahoma? (I believe Kellie Pickler, who was the butt of such jokes in every single episode, didn't come on to the scene until a season or two later.) Then again, I'm not a screaming teenage girl, am I? It's also nice to see that the trend of the song hand-written for the winner being schmaltzy garbage lives on, with Scotty's first single being called "I Love You This Big." Are these songs written by computer, or just by committee? Maybe a committee of computers?
[1] Why is it "THE Bronx," anyway? So we know it's not just A Bronx?
[2] Yes, I'm stealing jokes from the late Rodney Dangerfield. No wonder I don't get no respect!
bethje still does, so I've seen it occasionally this season. The buzz was that this would be the last season, but it's apparently actually getting good ratings. I guess people like to see Steven Tyler as a babbling old geezer (or a bog witch, as Richard Lawson from Defamer puts it). Then we have Jennifer Lopez, whose stint on this show has been a boon to her career, to the extent that she was ranked most beautiful woman in the world by We're Ten Years Behind the Times Magazine. I guess I can't deny she's attractive, although I feel guilty about it, because she strikes me as such an entitled bitch. I remember when "Jenny from the Block" was popular, and someone (I think it might have been not_glimmer informed me that she was actually from, like, the most affluent neighborhood in the Bronx. [1] Still, she has a nice ass, and I'm not even an ass man (despite all the people telling me, "You're an ass, man"). [2] Strangely, she was essentially the "nice" (read "patronizing") judge for this season. As for the contestants, they've bumped the age down to fifteen, when I thought even allowing minors at all was a bad idea. And what's with all the religious conservatism among the contestants? Beth informed me that the kid who won said he felt uncomfortable and had to kiss his crucifix or something when Lady Gaga touched his shoulders. Then there was that other girl who refused to sing the word "evil," but had no problem singing a duet with Carrie Underwood about smashing up some guy's car. Just good old wholesome hypocritical Americans, huh? They're young, though, so I blame their upbringing.I did see the finalé was this season, which is generally worth watching just to see the bizarre assortment of guest stars. "We just heard from Judas Priest, and now here's Tony Bennett, and after him the surviving members of TLC!" Do they just put the names of every musician willing to do the show in a hat and pull some out at random? I kind of have to suspect none of the contestants chose Tony, for instance, considering that these are people who claimed not to be familiar with the cotton-picking BEATLES. Come on, maybe you don't know "You Know My Name, Look Up the Number," but you must know "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," right? Sheesh, I remember when the teacher played "Octopus's Garden" for us in first grade music class. If your dream is to be a musician, don't you think you should do some research first? Mind you, my own taste in music is all over the map in terms of when it came out. I've heard so many references to how we're all supposed to think music peaked when we were in high school, but I think back to the mid-nineties when I graduated, and I remember most of the popular music being pretty dismal. I mean, this was when the Dave Matthews Band was growing in popularity. And as cloying as "Party in the USA" is, at least Miley Cyrus was only, like, seventeen when she recorded it. Back in 1993 or so, Sheryl Crow sang basically the same song while in her thirties. Also, what was up with grunge, huh? I guess I don't totally hate the style, because I like the Pixies, and they're sometimes said to have pioneered it. But then, they sang about Bible characters, surrealist films, and alien visitation, which speaks to me a lot more than teen angst. Not that I didn't have angst as a teenager (hey, I still do NOW), but it always seemed like a different kind than the growling garage bands had. Anyway, getting back to the main topic, it comes across as kind of sad (although great for the producers, I'm sure) when someone claims that a previous contestant on the show is their musical role model. But then, I tend to separate the show from the actual world of music. I realize that the intention of the show is for the ailing music industry to shove some more family-friendly pop garbage down our throats, but to me it kind of exists in isolation. I'll root for my favorites during the season, but afterwards I largely forget about them, except to occasionally make a comment like, "That Sanjaya was something else, wasn't he?" Okay, I guess Kelly Clarkson has paid her dues enough for me to take her seriously as a musician, but no matter how many millions of records Carrie Underwood sells, I still think of her being in a stupid bit with Ryan Seacrest where she brings her telescope to look for "stars" in Hollywood. You know, because she's a naive country bumpkin from Oklahoma? (I believe Kellie Pickler, who was the butt of such jokes in every single episode, didn't come on to the scene until a season or two later.) Then again, I'm not a screaming teenage girl, am I? It's also nice to see that the trend of the song hand-written for the winner being schmaltzy garbage lives on, with Scotty's first single being called "I Love You This Big." Are these songs written by computer, or just by committee? Maybe a committee of computers?
[1] Why is it "THE Bronx," anyway? So we know it's not just A Bronx?
[2] Yes, I'm stealing jokes from the late Rodney Dangerfield. No wonder I don't get no respect!
