Obstinance-Only Education

[vovat]

Whenever I hear people (usually conservative Christians) talk about the need for teaching abstinence in schools, I have to think, "Is there really anything to teach? Surely everyone knows how not to have sex!" It's sort of like Nancy Reagan's anti-drug campaign. Kids know they CAN say no to drugs; it's just that a fair number of them don't WANT to. Theoretically, I guess part of the point is in trying to get people not to feel pressured into having sex (or taking drugs), but is anybody really going to listen to their health teacher or pastor in this respect?

The other problem I have is when people act like marriage is some kind of magic line in the sand. Don't have sex before you're married, but once you've walked down the aisle, you pretty much have to. Now, I can understand recommending that people not have sex outside of a committed relationship, as there are a lot of risks associated with promiscuity (although, of course, many of them can be reduced with the proper precautions). But there are plenty of couples who have committed relationships without marrying (including gay couples, who aren't allowed to get married in many parts of the world), and other people who rush into and out of marriage without much (if any) real commitment. I don't think deciding when two (or more; I'm not inherently opposed to polygamy, even though I'm not inclined to try it myself) people are committed enough for sex should be up to church OR state. Some religions prohibit sex outside marriage, but even then, is it really the marriage license itself that's important? Maybe the IRS and the insurance companies need that kind of proof of commitment, but would an omniscient being? I'm certainly not bad-mouthing marriage (hey, I AM married), but I don't believe there's any magic involved in it.

Comments

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

The inherent problem with abstinence education is that it assumes people are having sex because they're forced, or tricked into it, or because they have low self-esteem. People who teach no sex before marriage tend to ignore one very important thing: Sex is fun. It feels good. no matter how much you teach against it, a lot of people -- especially young people -- will always choose what they like over what's good for them. it's the same reason they choose chocolate over fresh fruit!

[k1cup.livejournal.com]

I'm certainly not bad-mouthing marriage (hey, I AM married), but I don't believe there's any magic involved in it.

Wait a minute...No magic? Damn it! Next, you'll be telling me there's no Santa Claus.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

And the same reason they take drugs, for that matter.

[vovat.livejournal.com]

Hey, Santa never had any children, as far as I know.

[rockinlibrarian.livejournal.com]

I think for some people it IS important to have that Magic Line In the Sand-- it's a symbolic thing. Symbolism can be inherently arbitrary and illogical, but it's still important because it helps people define who they are and what's important to them. To say "This is part of a sacred union" makes it mean more to that person than otherwise, because it's a Symbol. Actually, I think I'm talking in circles, but you see I was just this morning thinking about my favorite episode of Firefly which is centered thematically on the concept that people need symbols even if they are illogical (what is mildly ironic is that in that episode, one of these thematic symbols that is part of a subplot is the idea that Losing Ones Virginity = Becoming a Man. No marriage. With a prostitute). This topic seemed to fit right in with what was going on in my head, but I don't know how much sense of it I made here....

I for one waited partially because heck if I waited that long I might as well just keep waiting, and partially just to prove it could be done. I don't regret it. Then again, it's not like I ever had any real opportunity with anyone who I DIDN'T eventually marry, either, so it's not like I missed out.

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

All too true. I tend to look at those from different points of view because I hate drugs and I really, really, really like sex.

[dragonxbait.livejournal.com]

I am pro-premarital sex. It seems a bit insane to me, to commit to a life long relationship without knowing if you are sexually compatible (this is probably why most religions and cultures don't really consider you married until you "consummate" the relationship.

[dragonxbait.livejournal.com]

oh yeah- This: http://www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/ourwhole/ is the sex education program they use at our church. It seems really well balanced and would probably give Sarah Palin and her ilk a heart attack. They even have a program for kindergartners :-P

[vovat.livejournal.com]

But sex education for kids is BAD, even if you're just telling them about inappropriate touching! The McCain campaign said so! :P