Twitterpated

• 06:03 @miscellaneaarts I don't think that inky blue is too bad, but I guess it's a bit generic. #
• 06:12 How did it get so hot and humid all of a sudden? #
• 18:32 @JaredofMo If so, this isn't much of an afterlife. #

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Helicopter Homer

Okay, first of all, I'd better reveal the answers to that lyrics quiz.

1. What's the matter with the songs he's singing? Can't you tell that they're pretty lame? "It's Still Billy Joel to Me," by "Weird Al" Yankovic (nova_one, rockinlibrarian, revme)
2. I can understand why you'd want a better man, but why you wanna make him out of me? "Spitting in the Wind," by the dB's. I don't think I would have gotten this one either.
3. The color of infinity inside an empty glass. "Experimental Film," by They Might Be Giants (carvinkeeper12, petie_s, zimbra1006, nova_one, revme)
4. I know that you're in there. I can see you. You're saying you're okay. I don't believe you. "Learn to Live with What You Are," by Ben Folds
5. So I guess I'll give it up. Yeah, I guess I will. What's the use in pushing when it's all uphill? "(Believed You Were) Lucky," by 'Til Tuesday
6. Take off into space from this terrible place, won't be 'round for a year. "Weather Perfectly Clear," by the Fastbacks
7. I'm gonna [title], like a pussycat. "Pounce," by Nellie McKay
8. Never thought I'd fall, but now I hear the call. "I'm Gettin' Sentimental Over You," by TMBG (revme)
9. On the way home from the party, neither of us said a word. "Scotch Grove," by the Mountain Goats
10. One part sad and two parts brave. "To the Stars," by Erin McKeown
11. "Why do cupids and angels continually haunt her dreams like memories of another life?" is printed on her shirt in capitals. Oh, come on, I was sure someone would get this! It's "Trompe le Monde," by the Pixies.
12. Billie, you're a miracle, and God knows I need one. "My Only Friend," by the Magnetic Fields (zimbra1006)
13. Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace. Molly is the singer in a band. "Ob-Li-Di, Ob-La-Da," by the Beatles (carvinkeeper12, burningofroissy, little_octagon, petie_s, zimbra1006, nova_one, rockinlibrarian, vilajunkie, revme)
14. There was a face on a hoarding that someone had drawn on. "Better Off Dead," by Elton John
15. I spring up from the ground. I stretch myself up and look around this whole world. "Spring Succeeds," by the Olivia Tremor Control

As usual, a few really easy ones, and mostly ones even I wouldn't be able to guess. This game never works out as well as I would hope.

Also, happy belated birthday to leolapyre, and here are some cartoon reviews for your reading pleasure.

Simpsons: This one actually had a halfway decent plot, but wasn't particularly funny. Even parts that seemed like they SHOULD have been funny, like the dream sequence, really weren't. Come on, how do you mess up an appearance by the ghost of Oscar Wilde? And Homer's becoming a supertaster was never resolved. Also, was this Lunchlady Doris' first speaking role since Doris Grau died?

Sit Down, Shut Up: No, the second episode wasn't an improvement over the first. And the combination of bad drawings with actual photographic images is pretty bizarre.

Family Guy: With all of the TV and movie clichés that the show has mocked, I don't think they'd done the one with the popular kid dating a loser before. Not a bad episode overall, but it did come across as yet another one where the plot really just fizzled out at the end, possibly due to lack of time. And nothing really came of the Stewie subplot, although his tough-guy behavior was kind of amusing.

American Dad: I liked it, but I have to wonder why they'd choose to show two Stan and Steve bonding episodes in a row.

I Thought About the Army

Many of the portrayals of armies in the Oz books are rather satirical. Whether this was a reflection of Baum's own opinion on the military isn't entirely clear. While his own time in military school was apparently too stressful for him, he ended up sending two of his sons there, and one of them became a colonel. He also dedicated The Magic of Oz to the soldiers in World War I. Maybe the small, mostly-for-show military force of Oz is, like the economy described in Emerald City, one of those things that Baum figured wouldn't work in the civilized world. Mind you, the total pacifism that Ozma practices in Emerald City doesn't seem to be entirely practical even IN fairyland. In the end, it's neither military might nor kindness and love that defeats the invaders, but a combination of magic and trickery.

The size of Ozma's army varies somewhat from one book to another. In Ozma, there are either twenty-six or twenty-seven officers (thanks to lax editing, the count varies from one part of the book to another) and one private, Omby Amby. But in the reigns of the Wizard of Oz and the Scarecrow, Omby was the entire army, so why would he only be a private in this new army? Well, since the Ozites are so attached to the idea that officers are just supposed to give orders and not do any actual fighting, maybe it made sense to give the lowest rank to the guy with some experience. Besides, he's promoted to Captain-General at the end, and goes back to being the entire army in Patchwork Girl. Oddly enough, there are two other privates mentioned in the chapter in which Omby is promoted, but I don't believe we ever hear about them again. I suppose the best way to explain the whole mess might be to say that Omby is the entire standing army, but the officers from Ozma still remain in reserve, and march in parades and such.

There are other comical armies in the Oz books, as well as some actually competent ones. In the case of the latter, Glinda's all-female army is probably the best example, and I get the impression that Glinda maintains her army in case Ozma's policies of love and magic fail in a major conflict. As for the former, the army of Queen Ann Soforth of Oogaboo is pretty closely modeled on Ozma's own, with a bunch of officers and one private soldier. Originally this is Private Files (the only pun name in this particular army, unless there's some wordplay I'm missing), but he's later replaced by Tik-Tok. (This could possibly be why the clockwork man is referred to as the Royal Army of Oz in Return to Oz.) Interestingly, neither Ozma's nor Queen Ann's army includes any lieutenants. I'm not sure if this is because no one wants to be the lowest rank of officer, or because Baum thought the word was difficult for kids to pronounce. For the most part, the ranks in the Ozian armies are the same as American ones, except for "Captain-General," a term that died out in most of the world during the eighteenth century (although it's apparently still used in Spain and its former colonies).

It's a little odd that Ozma seems to have no problem with vassal states having their own armies, but looking important generally seems to be the main purpose of Ozian soldiers, and I don't think Ozma would begrudge the smaller Ozian countries their own parades and pageantry. She usually does intervene when she learns that one of these armies starts practicing aggression. For what it's worth, I think the largest army within Oz itself might well be Ozwoz the Wonderful's force of 10,000 mechanical wooden soldiers, and that's all to guard one man.